Cheers, Jeers, Loves & Hates

Introduction (To Paraplegia)

2009-09-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

So, where do I begin?

Suddenly I have too much time on my hands. Never thought I would ever be afflicted with that problem, however, another unfortunate problem has forced boredom upon me.

It started last April with what I thought was just another sprained back. I had not yet found a family physician after my doctor had given up his practice. Dragging myself to a local ‘walk-in clinic’, the doctor quickly concurred with my assessment and prescribed pain killers with muscle relaxants as I was ushered out of the office..

I am still unsure how many days passed before I awakened into a hazy consciousness with a sickening realization that my legs refused to move.

An ambulance ride to a local hospital emergency department was followed by numerous tests which ultimately determined that I had a bacterial infection (1). The little buggers had made a home for themselves on my spinal column resulting in an abscess. Placed on antibiotics I was whisked off to a major Toronto hospital where after a period of time it was determined that surgery would be required. The abscess at the T5 (2) level of the spinal column was excised and drained and a laminectomy (3) was performed. Surgical insertion of a ‘Port-o-Cath (4) was performed which would facilitate the six weeks of additional antibiotic therapy required to ensure complete eradication of my bacterial companions. A journey to the ICU followed.

Once again, time evaporated and I spent much of the next month drifting between semi-consciousness and a very vivid and real morphine hell. I did not dream these horrific fantasies, I lived them! What I experienced I may reveal later however, suffice it to say that I never wish to be trapped in those tortuous emotions again. How anyone can use that drug or any of it’s derivatives recreationally is beyond me.

My wife tells me I was swollen like a balloon that refused to deflate in spite of the assortment of IV s and drainage tubes protruding from my body. My return to consciousness was slow and it was painfully obvious that my movement was not returning. The prognosis was the worst news I could possibly have heard. Permanent paraplegia.

Policy is that I be returned to my originating hospital for recuperation when no further invasive procedures are required. Having been stabilized, I was delighted to be discharged from this institution, albeit on a stretcher, as it was rather filthy, staffed with surly nurses and offering inedible food.

Being back at my original hospital was a pleasant change, however, in my case it was serving as a “human filing cabinet” while waiting for the slow moving wheels of bureaucracy to have me admitted to a spinal cord injury rehabilitation facility. Six more weeks in limbo had my joints seizing up due lack of motion and six cancellations of admission by the rehab taxed me mentally.

High hopes prevailed as I was finally shipped off by ambulance to “The Rehab” which, from all accounts had an admirable reputation. There I was once again worked over and reassessed , having so many blood tests that I thought anemia would surely result. Staff may have been well intentioned however politics, bureaucracy and miscommunication were equally at home in this facility.

All stumbling aside (pun intended), I was instructed on a personal routine which I would need when discharged. The cost of twenty-four hour room and board was borne by the Canadian taxpayer yet really amounted to a meagre one hour of physiotherapy per day, weekends excluded. Not a very good rate of return on the health care dollar. The physiotherapy I received was directed more towards undoing the damage and seized joints created by months of bedridden inactivity rather than to help me achieve any mobility.

Perhaps it was the drudgery of the daily nursing routine, the toll of having to face patients dealing with life altering situations, or just my luck of the draw in being assigned a particular staff member, but indifference and negativity frequently seemed to lurked below the happy veneer. Negative to the point where, with my discharge date approaching, I chose not to reveal a slight flicker of movement in my legs. Fear of being smiled at, patted on the head and dismissed with a “that’s nice” was my expectation.

Discharged after almost half a year of hospitalization, I now have to adjust to life in a wheelchair within my quickly renovated home. Having had the entire hospital grounds open to me while institutionalized, my world now consists of a thirty foot run between two rooms, two televisions and two computers. For someone who was previously always on the go, this abrupt change is as mind numbing as perpetual pressure is butt numbing!.

Community provided physiotherapy is less frequent than that offered as an inpatient and really only consists of instruction for self directed therapy. At my assessment I found the confidence to show my physiotherapist that since my discharge I had worked on and regained some movement. While sitting I can now easily move my knees in and out over a normal range, kick my legs out from a sitting position to just short of horizontal and lift my feet off of the wheelchair supports with lessening difficulty. In bed I am able to bend my knees and slide my heels back and forth as well as do “the scissors How far I can take this is yet to be seen but I am a stubborn SOB and will continue to fight. After all, I have no other alternative.

My wife has made it painfully clear that she is growing tired of seeing me shake my fist at the television screen while engaged in one sided conversations with that medium. So, with all of this time to kill, I thought I would inflict my rambling thoughts and opinions on the unsuspecting world.

And so it begins...........

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(1) In Particular, Staphylococcus aureus thankfully however, not the highly resistant MRSA strain.
(2) T5 refers to the Thoracic 5th vertebrae of the spinal column and the various levels determine the extent and severity of the injury. Very simplified, paraplegic vs. quadriplegic .
(3) Laminectomy refers to the removal of bone on the spinal vertebrae.
(4) Port-o-cath is a small device implanted below the skin which allows the infusion of antibiotics and other fluids into the body for a prolonged period of time where a conventional IV would be impractical.

***Note: I had more to say on the topic of Paraplegia and our health care system so I created a separate blog for that purpose. To read more on this topic please see Paraplegia (Introduction To )

* * * General Note: My intention is to keep these posts in a particular order of my own choosing. As such the posted dates have been manipulated, are meaningless and should be disregarded. The topic supersedes any chronological order. This manipulation cannot be set within the settings of this blogs structure.

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Government To Ban Sugar Soft Drinks

2009-09-06T09:04:00.000-05:00

Free Will To Choose?
Here’s Mine, Take It!! I’m not using it anymore!!!
(or How The Government Knows Better Than You Do)

So the brain trust sitting as Toronto’s city council has once again decided to jump on the ‘ban-wagon’ and prohibit rather than educate - because they can! With their recent startling realization that many of today’s youth are becoming grossly overweight, council has proposed banning sugary soft drinks at various public venues, citing their inherent unhealthiness. Last summer their target was the ‘healthier’ bottled water, targeted for the environmentally incorrect plastic bottle in which they were packaged. Perhaps next year they’ll re-consider banning aspartame sodas for their chemical content, fruit drinks for their enamel etching acid content or milk to prevent ingestion by lactose intolerant individuals. What is left?

A recent newspaper poll queried it’s readers if they agree with the city’s attempt to ban sugar sweetened soft drinks. I was startled to see that nearly half of the respondents agreed with the proposal!!

I find it amazing that nearly 50% of the population is either too stupid, too lazy, or lacks will power to police themselves in choosing what legally available beverage they put in their own mouths. Gee, I don’t know Mayor, you decide for me! My kid’s don’t listen to me Mayor, it’s up to you now!

Sugar has been used in soft drinks since the turn of the last century. Nintendos, Wiis, X-Boxes and PlayStations have not. Perhaps the problem lies not with the sugar infused soda-pop but rather than with youth that restrict physical exercise to their thumb on a toggle controller.
Perhaps banning video games will appear next in the council’s sights.

How soon before these politically correct ‘Social Engineers’ come after some item you enjoy, some product you use, some activity you engage in? Red meat may lead to heart disease……and all those farting cows add to global warming. Maybe some level of government should limit the number of steaks we can purchase or consume in any given week. Perhaps only soy dogs and tofu burgers should be allowed to be sold at municipal ball parks. We know what’s best for you - you don’t. Our right to chose is often filled with conditions or banned outright, with hardly a whimper from society.

It may be just a teaspoon of sugar to some - banning it leaves a sour taste in my mouth!

Grubbing 4 "Fool's" Gold - As Seen On TV

2009-09-05T13:42:00.000-05:00

Grubbing 4 “Fool's” Gold

Turn on the tube these days and you find yourself repeatedly assaulted by ads fishing for your used, broken, unwanted or forgotten gold. “Prices have never been higher”! -Don’t Hesitate!!! - Act Now!!!.

You know those family heirlooms are just gathering dust, that Rolex watch hasn’t been wound in years, ’ol dad won’t need that wedding ring nor his gold fillings six feet under, that necklace must be broken, the clasp is so awkward to use. My jewelery is such a pain! What WILL I do???

But Wait!!! Just ask us for our pre-paid envelope and send your gold to us and in days you’ll be swimming in money!!

Out comes the shapely model sporting an ear to ear smile, with wads of hundreds fanned out in each fist. A parade of supposed satisfied customers - on the lido deck of a cruise ship, sitting in front of their new wide screen HD TV, shopping bags stuffed with designer duds! Wow!!!

The Pitch:

You don’t know me, or who really owns that Box No. on the envelope, but you can trust us. Stick all your valuables into that pre-paid mailing bag and drop it in the mail box. There’s a number on the envelope so you can track it on-line. The contents are insured and if you’re not completely satisfied just call the 1-800 number and ask us to return your heirlooms at no cost to you!!
Questions to ponder;

Who are you really and how long have you been in business? Is my envelope relayed somewhere other than the address on the mailer? I wonder if Ihave any legal recourse after they screw me, perhaps in another country.

You say I can track my package on line but is that tracking number your own or the post office’s? One site says I have to log into their site to track the package. If it’s monitored by the post office, it’s their site and service that would track the envelope, not the gold company.

Risk free & Fully Insured - for what amount? If you don’t know the value of what I’m sending, how do know what to insure it for? I could send you a damaged empty envelope and claim my $10K Rolex was lost. Yeah, I’m sure that I’m covered! You don’t trust me anymore than I trust you!!

We pay the highest price (trust us, we wouldn’t lie to you!). We can’t give you a quote because the price of gold fluctuates day to day - by so much that we wouldn’t even risk a ball park figure - but trust us.

Not satisfied? Just ask for your items back. (most sites offered to raise their payouts after unsatisfied customers complained about the cheque received - still not even half of the appraised value.) They claim they can pay top dollar because your item goes straight to the refiner. Try to get you item back after it’s part of an ingot! Many who have asked for their items to be returned have been told they waited too long. Ooops! That cheque you received for your gold might be enough for a down payment for a consultation with a lawyer to go after these gold thieves.

One local yokel gives reasons why you should get rid of your gold, among them;
Jewelery is not forever (huh?)
Jewelery is not an investment (then why do jewelers claim prices have never been higher?)
Your children might fight over the jewelery when you’re gone. (yeah, better give it to you, then spend their inheritance!)
It costs money to keep it (huh? -again..)
He also sells jewelery so what’s his pitch when you come to his store to buy rather than sell??? What a moron!

Get your items evaluated in person (or have someone you trust do it for you) by a well established and trusted dealer where you can walk away if not satisfied. A reputable dealer who truly offers you fair value, if not top dollar, won’t mind you walking out the door for a second opinion. You’ll no doubt return to and do business with dealer if his offer stands up.

You want convenience and don’t care what you get? Use Grubbing 4 “Fools” Gold as seen on TV. Ask the woman who sent in her gold and got a cheque for .03 cents how convenient and fair she thought the “service” was.
…and just who are those people holding wads of money and smiling?

Canada or the U.S. -No matter, these guys are counting on fools not doing their research and trusting the smiling faces on TV.

Bullets Good, Cigarettes Bad!!!

2009-07-11T09:15:00.001-05:00

Bullets Good, Cigarettes Bad!!!

The U.S. government (Pentagon) is considering banning cigarettes for military personnel in an attempt to promote the health of soldiers under fire.

Bullets good….Cigarettes bad!

You’d figure that in a democratic society, individuals themselves would have the freedom to make an educated decision as to whether or not use a legal product.

Go figure!

Maybe they could consider banning war instead.....

A & E - Dignified Advertising Or Annoying Badgering???

2009-07-07T18:53:00.012-05:00

Dignified Advertising or Annoying Badgering?

It seems to me that the folks in charge of A & E network’s advertising department require a desperate Intervention for their own Obsession. It is painfully obvious that they have become addicted to advertising and the dosage they choose to administer to the viewing public continues to escalate. I received my overdose of A & E advertising long ago and found no alternative but to pull the plug and fade to black. Flatliner!…….

So I had an afternoon to kill and tuned into an A & E marathon of ‘The First 48’. Morbid, but a interesting timewaster.

Immediately I’m drawn to the white ‘floater’ advertisement in the lower right corner of my screen - translucent but annoying. ….and it sits there and sits there staring back at - me telling me that ‘The Cleaner’ has a new episode tonight at 10:00. Something that Ijust have to know while trying to watch another one of the network’s offerings.

But wait, between each commercial break Benjamin Bratt in his undershirt drifts out from the same corner of the screen and once again tells you to watch ‘The Cleaner’. What???!!! Those advertising knuckleheads just put their ad over top of their ad!!!! Sticking ‘The Cleaner’ in my face twice will make me want to watch it more????

So we go to commercial break and what comes up? A commercial for, you guessed it, ‘The Cleaner’!!!!

Maybe I didn’t catch the two ads they dangled in my face while trying to watch their other show, which incidentally they also advertise ad nauseam while trying to watch yet another show! With the commercial break over, they go back to the floater and Benjamin Bratt playing hide and seek periodically during the show. Commercial break and another ad for ‘The Cleaner’….and so it goes….

Now, I understand that some viewers may have missed one commercial, having gone to the kitchen for a sandwich or perhaps to the can for a dump. But for God’s sake, we all get it. Even the most disinterested casual viewer can tell you when ‘The Cleaner’ is on! It is impossible not to know! Give it a rest!

I assume that every network wants viewer loyalty - an audience that doesn’t channel surf but stays tuned so that they can show their advertising clients the scope of their broadcast reach and therefore justify their charges. But what faster way to drive an audience away than by endless repetition of the same message like some obnoxious parrot.

Consider the ‘Law of Diminishing Returns’ where by trying to snag every viewer, a point is reached where you start losing viewers by your annoying behaviour. During an afternoon of A & E’s ‘The First 48’, I must have been reminded about ‘The Cleaner’ several hundred times in addition to the permanent 'floater'. So much so that I feel I’ve seen far too much of Benjamin Bratt without having even watched one episode. Having OD’d on your ads, I won’t be tuning in.

A & E, you have long passed good taste and honourable behaviour. You no longer respectably advertise or politely inform. Rather, you beat your viewer over the head with your excessive advertisements then shove what remains down their throats. I, like many others, don’t respond well to annoying badgering. Benjamin, button your shirt. I’m switching channels to something other than your visual vomit advertising....

There are some very sick people running A & E's advertising department.

Mental Instability At Grey Power Insurance

2009-07-01T13:07:00.008-05:00

Mental Instability At Grey Power Insurance

Perhaps the single most annoying and overplayed commercial in the history of broadcasting deserves it’s own post.
(see previous comments included in post ‘Dumb-ass Commercials Of The Month”)

This Dumb-ass advertisement continues to play ever few minutes on multiple television channels throughout the year, as it has for at least the last three years. If even the most casual viewer hasn’t gotten the message by now, they never will!!

Perhaps their product fails to sell itself so Grey Power feels they have to bash the viewer over the head and badger them with this obnoxious, annoying and demeaning ad.

______________________

I present the most annoying ad here without fear of promoting Grey Power
Already tremendously overplayed, I present it here to assist in their demise!

The average cost of a one minute commercial is about $500,000 these days. They have to recoup a half million dollars just to break even with the production costs of the ad, then add on the cost of endless broadcasts on multiple networks throughout the day including prime time. (I doubt the doofus spokesperson was astute enough to negotiate a one cent payment per viewing for if he had, he would have been a millionaire already! - and I pity the poor actress having a mental meltdown in the car - she must be recognized and ridiculed endlessly)

Regardless, Grey Power’s advertising budget must be enormous as these endless broadcasts year round no doubt cost a fortune. These advertising costs are passed onto the consumer so I really doubt that “you could save up to $400 per year by switching to Grey Power.” Chances are that this is going to be one of the most expensive policies available as their demographic is 50 years of age and over, limiting their clientele base while spending enormous sums on endless advertising.

‘The law of diminishing returns’ holds true in advertising. After a saturation point is reached people tune out your message and will become annoyed at being endlessly badgered. Grey Power reached that saturation point long ago and people become fed up with the message, the messanger and even more so, the product. (would you put up with a door to door salesman or telemarketer calling you several times a day for the same product? - sure, you can ignore the commercial as you could knocking on your door or a ringing phone - still it annoys!!!)

Reading the YouTube comments shows that the vast majority feel the same way as I do. Although I am in the demographic that Grey Power is advertising to, I would never do business with Grey Power as I don’t want to reward their annoying behaviour and spendthrift advertising.
Endless advertising has ingrained Grey Power into my brain, however, it is for all the wrong reasons.

While some may get a chuckle out of this woman's demented behaviour on first several views, only equally demented pinheads get gaffaws, snorts and belly laughs from it now being replayed for the billionth time!

It seems to me that if anyone shows mental instability, it is the advertising department at Grey Power.

In the time it took me to write these few paragraphs the commercial has aired 4 times on CBC.

Mental Instability Reigns At Grey Power!!!

Welcome To Canada's Nanny State

2008-12-30T22:33:00.003-05:00

Welcome To The Canadian Nanny State!

Ban Junk Food!
Ban plastic water bottles in schools
Ban plastic water bottles - period!
Ban all sugary drinks in schools
Ban aspartame drinks in schools
Ban cigarette displays!
Ban smoking while driving with children!
Ban Smoking Period!
Ban perfumes & colognes in public (hospitals) buildings.
Ban Clothes Lines!
Ban TV aerials!
Ban cutting privately owned trees on private property!
Ban Flags As Curtains!
Ban driving with cell phones!
Ban Spanking!
Ban plastic bags!
Ban all (legal) handguns!
Ban Gun Clubs!
Ban Pit Bulls!
Ban Rotweillers!
Ban leash free zones for dogs
Ban Publication of Court Proceedings!
Ban Pesticides!
Ban Herbicides!
Ban Herbal Medicines!
Ban Trans-fats!
Ban Free Speech though Human Rights Commission!
Ban Kilts (School Uniform) - Girls wear them too short!
Ban Christmas Trees!
Ban Christmas - Period!
Ban the Lord’s Prayer!

Although the rational behind some of the listed ‘situations’ is sound, it appears that Canadians can no longer be trusted with freedom of choice or to exercise common sense. How willingly we Canadians are to have social engineers put another law on the books to tell us what’s good for us, what’s bad, how we should live and what we should think. Rather than education we opt for yet another law on the books requiring surveillance by inspectors, enforcement by police, hearings before the courts followed by applied fines or subsequent incarceration. Many other countries would cry out in protest over this erosion of personal choice. We Canadians are content to yawn, crack a Molson’s and turn on the CBC to see what’s next in our municipal, provincial or federal government’s sights.

Welcome to the Canadian Nanny State!

Brainless!!!

2008-11-30T09:12:00.000-05:00

News
Deaths in Darfur Genocide 70,000+
Total HIV (Aids) cases as of 2005 = 64.3 million worldwide
Canadians Living in poverty ~10.8%
N.A. GM plant closings & worker layoffs = 12 & 30,000 and counting
Projected new Canadian cancer cases for 2008 = 166,400

Price paid for Brad Pitts & Angelina Jolie’s twins first photos
= $14 million

Magazines willing to pay for the Paparazzi’s photos & idiots who run to their newstand to hand over their cash to oooh & awwwhhh over the bawlin’ brats....

Get a freakin' Life!
....and spend your money wisely!

Television Advertising Run Amok!

2008-10-22T09:23:00.000-05:00

Television Advertising Run Amok

Realizing that time equals money, networks attempt to capitalize on profits at every turn, even if it destroys viewing pleasure. Like a dog that has to mark it’s territory by pissing on every tree available, television networks now mark their broadcast with a logo in one of the corners of the TV screen. Whether opaque or semi-transparent, the name of the network stares back at you through out the day - just in case you didn’t know which station you had turned to. And is anyone ‘network loyal’, watching shows only on that station? I couldn’t care less which station carries the show I intend to watch.

So too, it’s no longer enough to show the network’s sponsor’s ads during commercial breaks - now they have to badger you incessantly with pop-up logos overlapping the show your trying to enjoy. These banners show up in the opposite corner from the station logo, distracting you from the show and often obscuring critical elements. Kind of destroys the scene when watching some tragic love story and seeing the NBC peacock crapping on a tearful woman’s forehead.

The worst case I experienced was during my aborted attempt to watch a subtitled war epic. What words in the subtitle the network logo didn’t obscure the repeated pop-up ads hawking other programs did. Not being fluent in German, the movie was lost to me. Click - the station lost my viewership.

The final insult is when the credits get smooshed up into one corner of the screen and fly by at a vomit inducing rate - all so they can squeeze in even more Ad time. The credits are too small, distorted, squashed into a corner where they fly by at a speed impossible to read. Why do it at all?…and don’t tell me it’s for legal reasons. Like those qualifiers that flash up at the bottom of many ads, if no human can read it, why show it?

Visual Diarrhoea!!!

I wonder what’s next? Split screen TVs with your show on one side and perpetual commercials on the other? Just wait!

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Raiseing Drinking Age To 21 Proposed

2008-09-28T08:53:00.000-05:00

London-Middlesex Health Board calls for raising the legal drinking age to 21.

The question really is at what point does a person become a responsible adult capable making informed choices and realizing the consequences.

In Canada, the Age of Consent for sexual activity has just increased from 14 to 16 years of age.

Throughout most of Canada two people can marry at the age of 18 (16 with parent’s consent) implying that they are responsible enough to create and raise children.

The Canadian Armed Forces will accept applicants who have reached the age of 17. You can now fight & die for your country.

Debates continue in Canadian parliament whether to lower the voting age from 18 to 16.

So let me get this straight. You can have sex, get married, have children, vote responsibly for the future of your nation and potentially go to war and die for your country but you're too young and immature to have a beer???
Those who wish to drink will find a way to obtain alcohol and all that will be accomplished will be more young people with possible criminal records. Prohibition doesn't work!!!

***Published in the London Free Press (Letters To The Editor) -March 29th, 2009

Green Advice For the Environmentally Conscious 1

2008-08-21T23:12:00.000-05:00

Green Advice For the Environmentally Conscious 1

If every household in an average town of 10,000 would turn off just one light bulb for a year we could save, well….ah, we could save enough electricity to light 10,000 light bulbs for a year.

Well, not really....

Unless the electricity was fossil fuel generated (coal, natural gas), no energy was saved. Water still flowed downstream, wind still blew, sun still shone, nuclear fuel still underwent fission etc. so those sources of potential energy simply weren't converted to electricity.
AC electrical current cannot be stored as DC current can be in batteries, therefore nothing was saved!
Wise use of electricity simply keeps the electrical grid from running at capacity thereby electrical energy within it is available at any given moment for essential functions.

Kiddie Car Smoke Ban

2008-07-10T16:03:00.000-05:00

Kiddie Car Smoke Ban

(You Can’t Legislate Common Sense!)

Everyone can agree that smoking is probably not the most healthy habit that one can indulge in. It’s only logical that those who don’t wish to be exposed to second hand cigarette smoke shouldn’t have to be. From that it only seems like common sense that kids, who may not have the option of escaping those noxious fumes should be protected, perhaps by law. But, just how do you legislate common sense??

82% of Canadians support a ban on smoking in vehicles carrying children under the age of 18. (Canadian Cancer Society Poll 2007)

Ontario is currently considering implementing a law banning smoking in automobiles transporting children. If the government passes such a law, it must be willing, capable and able to enforce that law. But how? Will police be pulling smoke filled cars off the road in order to check the ages of the occupants? Will fellow drivers start juggling cell phones cameras in order to photograph possible offenders driving the highway beside them? Will neighbours be asked to spy on neighbours and sniff their children on returning home from a road trip? Will kids be given a ‘Smoker’s Victim’ hotline number where they can rat on their parents?

Currently real criminals are walking away from serious charges because overcrowded courts prevent their trial from being heard in a timely fashion. Now we can add smoking parents to the line-ups contesting their charges.

How long before the government allows ‘smoke police’ to storm your home?
...and just how do you enforce common sense???

***June 16th,2008 - The 'Car with Children' Smoking Ban was passed today by Ontario's Provincial Liberal Government and will cost offenders $250.00 per offense. Mothers should now carry their teen's birth certificates with them whenever driving so as to prove to the police the correct age of your offspring whenever you are pulled over. Laws, Police, Courts - your tax dollars at work!

You Can't Legislate Common Sense!!!

Reality Trash

2008-06-12T16:48:00.000-05:00

Reality Trash

(Humiliation For the Nation)

Reality, the new scourge of the airwaves….and just when you thought things couldn’t get much worse. However, their popularity begs the question - who are the idiots that participate and who are their intellectual counterparts that watch? Let’s have a look at some of these gems.

(1) Canada’s Worst Driver (Discovery Channel) - Be afraid,….be very afraid! We are looking for people who are willing to be put behind a steering wheel and then be humiliated in front of the entire nation. If you lack motor coordination, have a glove compartment full of traffic tickets & court summons, a damaged automobile, pay exorbitant insurance rates, the odd outstanding lawsuit and police know you by your first name, well we want you. All you have to do is get behind that wheel and show the country what kind of sad loser you really are. Why watch this show when you can turn off the TV, take a drive and see the same behaviour in ‘real time’ on any chosen road?

(2) Canada’s Worst Handyman (Discovery Channel) - Instead of driving cars, these fools are attempting to drive nails. With a nation overflowing with idiots perhaps Discovery directed the overflow of those automotively challenged to this offering. Nominate one of your friends or family members to show how inept they are at operating a screwdriver or finding the ‘business end’ of a hammer. Will they simply throw away the nails that have the point on the wrong end or might they give us a belly laugh when they maim themselves on the table saw? I guess there aren’t enough industrial accidents these days to entertain society. Remember that incompetent handyman neighbour may have just rewired or plumbed his side of your semi-detached home. Is your insurance paid up to date?

(3) Hell’s Kitchen (Fox) - One case of food induced television nausea wasn’t enough so Fox Network served up a second heaping helping entitled ‘Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares’ for the edification of couch potatoes and television gluttons everywhere. Watch the egotistical, self important Scotsman Gordon Ramsay humiliate, ridicule and devour chefs and restaurateurs alike with a smorgasbord of filthy profanities that spew from the same mouth that he eats with. Never a shortage of victims willing to be fed to this moron for your visual gastronomic delight.

(4) The Biggest Loser (NBC) - Obesity has been called the last acceptable prejudice. Race, gays, transvestites, religion, age and a multitude of perversions have become tolerated if not accepted. However, if you have managed to “supersize” yourself over the years, you are fair game for persecution and verbal ridicule. If sitting at Ramsey’s table (#3) hasn’t scared the fork out of your fist, NBC is looking for volunteers to drop their shirts and bounce, flow and ooze around the stage in a weight loss competition.
Perhaps humiliation is a great motivator. Having an entire nation watch your progress might just drive you to anorexia. I admire the contestant’s personal efforts but the competitive exploitation makes this serious issue into a frivolous game. Without a doubt, the biggest loser is the viewer.

(5) Bridezillas (Woman’s Entertainment TV) - Guys, get a taste of what’s in store for you after you say “I do” and “poo-bear” or “honeybuns” gets ticked off and goes ballistic. Take a good look at the meltdown of these “sweeties” before the vows are exchanged and decide if you might need one of the Discovery’s Handymen (see #2) to build a proper sized ‘dog house’ for nights that you are banished from your castle.
Does WE TV spend money to send a camera crew in hopes of finding a volatile bitch willing to record their worst behaviour on camera for posterity? Or just perhaps there is some ‘staging’ where participants are coached to behave in some outrageous manner on this, their most important day. I wanted Red Roses and I got Pink Roses!! Someone must die!!

(6) How Clean Is Your House? (Lifetime) - Welcome, come on right in! Take a look at my pigsty! Kids toys strewn about, laundry hanging from every lamp fixture, month old pizza boxes with a few desiccated slices left, empties piled in corners, dishes overflowing from the sinks to the counters, bales of newspapers, encrusted coffee cups with flies buzzing about - just shove the cats off the chair and have a seat! I’m so incompetent and lazy that I can’t dig my way out of this messy health hazard myself. I have no dignity so come on right in with your lights and cameras…..and front end loader, and dig me out. “See Honey, we’re not quite as bad as they are so I’m going golfing.”

(7) Nanny 911(Fox) - If your house isn’t a disaster, perhaps your kids are. The demonic spawn of your loins have been sent as karmic punishment for your own childhood misbehaviour. Now little Damien is swinging from the chandelier while Helga, she-wolf in training, aims to be a future ‘Bridezilla’. Disobeying parents, throwing tantrums, turning blue, breaking china, microwaving the cat and setting fire to houseguests. We’re useless so lets bring in some professional adults to enforce some discipline. Let’s get this on TV so our neighbours can see how we’ve let our children rule our lives and lead us around by the nose.

(8) Intervention (A&E Network) - Honey, you’ve got a serious and potentially life threatening problem so let’s invite the television network in to exploit your addiction and revel in our anguish. You don’t mind showing the lowest and most tragic point of your life on TV for the nation’s entertainment, do you? We didn’t get your vomiting and retching on the first take - can you do that again but with more grunts? Come on, work with me! Why I love to be entertained by people with more serious problems than my own. Makes my pathetic life seem not so bad! What is even more annoying is A&E playing the ‘trailer-advertisement’ for the upcoming episode, at every commercial break, all day long!!! Perhaps death is preferable to having the recovering addict watch their own misery in perpetual reruns.

(9) The Jerry Springer Show (NBC) - This may be the granddaddy of them all! I wonder what kind of nauseating, sickening and gut wrenching feeling comes over a person when their “significant other” takes them by the hand and says “honey, I’ve got something important to tell you, but I want to tell you nationwide on Jerry Springer’s show, in front of a studio audience. Nothing good has every been revealed on that show so why do people willingly walk into this ambush? “I’m dropping you ‘cause I’m in love with a transsexual, gay, yet pregnant amputee nun who is a convicted felon.”

There is no shortage of show concepts attempting to capitalize on this reality craze. ‘Court TV’, ‘What Not To Wear’, ‘Beauty & The Geek’, ‘I Want A Famous Face’ and ‘Dr Phil’, are just a few other examples.
There seems to be no shortage of participants and guests willing to share their most intimate thoughts, their most personal secrets, bare their most serious problems, act like incompetent idiots and humiliate themselves all for the edification of the viewing public. Hoards of pathetic dysfunctional idiots stumble over each other with a rabid desire to trade their privacy and dignity for that elusive “15 minutes of fame”? Yet I have to wonder, when reality sucks, does someone nudge a dull scene along with some scripted help?

I must admit that I watch reality TV as well. One of the oldest reality shows that probably commands the largest audience and in broadcast on almost every network. It’s simply known as ‘The Nightly News’ and it’s about as bizarre a collection of dysfunctional idiots as I’m willing to watch.

The Green Monster (Part 1)

2008-05-01T21:34:00.000-05:00

The Green Monster (Part 1)

It seems that every week now some “green” advocate or group is making noise about the lack of action on some environmental problem. Firstly it was the Sierra Club bemoaning the fact that the country hasn’t switched over from incandescent light bulbs to compact fluorescent, LED or some other environmentally friendly technology. I had to wonder how this enormous changeover was to occur. Was I, and every other homeowner expected to immediately run out and purchase massive amounts of “green" bulbs” to replace the incandescent currently in use? What was to become of all of these working bulbs and those still unused in my cabinet, purchased during some long ago sale. Their incessant wailing gives me the impression I should make the changeover immediately and send all of my good bulbs to the city dump as incandescent bulbs are not recyclable. Yeah, bright idea - working bulbs ploughed into the ground in an attempt to reduce hydro consumption and green our land.

Equally unthought-out demands come in the form of “green cars”. Yes, a lessening dependency on foreign supplied fossil fuels is desirable. Automobiles with fewer noxious emissions are to be welcomed as well. Regardless, all the implications of switching to “green cars” must be seriously considered. The fanatical “greenies” have lobbied for forced change starting with commercial vehicles such as city taxis. How reasonable is an enforced timetable and deadline for change?

There are few technologies currently in development that would even approach meeting the demands and goals set by the environmentalists. What are the alternatives in development?

Hydrogen Fuel Cells - The most perfect form of energy production as H2 (Hydrogen) is used as the fuel and O2 (Oxygen) is the oxidant. In theory water could be used as the fuel, the energy obtained as H2O separates into H2 and O + O = O2 with resulting proton exchange producing power, then recombining to water H2O as the final emission. Numerous problems still exist and hydrogen cells for cars have yet to make it to the marketplace.

Hydrogen Gas - burns cleanly but is very volatile. Is technology in place to prevent fuel tank explosions and leaks. Hydrogen Highways would have to be constructed where these cars could fill up with hydrogen. Efficiency in power and mileage must be considered as well. What the public forgets is that current hydrogen supplies are obtained from where?? From fossil fuels!

Methanol additive - methanol burns much cleaner than gasoline and is a renewable fuel source. It can be produced through the fermentation of an almost endless supply of organic materials. Using organic waste would divert it from the dump or compost heap but the amount would be insufficient for the demand. Corn has been suggested as a source of fermentable material but that would mean dedicating thousands of hectares of land to growing corn. Land that would no longer be available for growth of other agricultural products destined for the kitchen table and as animal feed. As the demand for ethanol would drive up the price of corn, farmers would find it economically desirable to switch to growing corn as the profits would be greater. This in turn would drive up the price of products made from corn be it corn oil, cereals and even pop-corn. Other produce would also increase in price as land is diverted for growing corn. Price of meat products would also reflect the increased corn pricing in that animal feed would be more expensive. In the end, methanol still cannot compete with gas for its octane rating.

Electricity - Sounds good. Nice and clean, rechargeable but numerous problems still have not been overcome.

Battery construction, life and efficiency - batteries currently available vary from the old heavy lead batteries to newer lithium-ion versions. Weight is a consideration as is the amount of space they occupy. Every battery technology has a charging life after which they have to be replaced. The greater amount of potentially poisonous metals used in their construction have to be refined, recycled and dealt with safely. Finally batteries are fine for short city jaunts but hold insufficient charge to drive long distances. Recharging would take much more time than a fill up of gas at the service station. Swapping out batteries? Still a major installation procedure and where would an electric service station store all the batteries being swapped out with all the cars on major highways?

Recharging Batteries -Okay Greenies. How do you recharge the cars batteries? Why, you plug your car into your home charger-socket and walk away, right? Well, with the hydroelectric grid already pushed to the limits most summers, prime vacation time, what is going to happen when your city, province, state etc. plugs in their collective cars at night? There are already pleas to cut back on hydro consumption and the threats of rolling brownouts. A massive increase in usage will surely result in skyrocketing electricity prices making today’s rates seem a bargain. So the answer is to build more electrical plants. What technology? Most rivers capable of being harnessed for Hydro-Electric Generation have already dammed. Nuclear Electrical Generation or Coal Fired Electrical Plants? Okay Wind Farms and Solar Panel Farms for using nature for obtaining clean energy. The problems here are obvious. Environmentalists and “greenies” are by definition pro-environment and therefore do not wish to encroach on nature by damming the last of the potential rivers. They are almost unanimous in erroneous agreement that nuclear technology is too expensive, too unreliable and too dangerous to be considered. Using coal fired plants would defeat the purpose of electrical cars as the source of ozone depleting, global warming emissions would simply change from cars to plants. Wind and Solar farms take up huge tracts of land which is then unavailable for other uses such as agriculture. It is also unreliable as alternating current (AC) power cannot be stored, therefore on overcast or windless days the power is unavailable for the electrical grid. Changing weather patters present a risk in their permanent construction.

Steel Industry - A final consideration would be that cars using alternative green fuels would have to be constructed of much lighter materials to reduce weight to power ratios and extend mileage. Automobile manufacturing is the number one consumer of steel and switching to lighter alternatives would have a serious impact on the steel industry. As the average life of a car is about 8 years, many of the steel cars on the road today would be retired in that time frame. These obsolete cars would in all likelihood be left as compacted metal piled high in the scrap yard due to the reduced demand. Any of the stored metal recycled would then again impact the primary smelting and steel industry as those workers lose their employment. Remember that many of the synthetic products that will be used in the lighter green cars such as plastics and resins are made from oil. An increased demand in these products might still require us to import foreign oil and deal with the by-products from those refineries.

Yes, the environment is a serious issue and has to be addressed but I believe most of the fanatical “greenies” who want to change everything on the spot have not considered the bigger picture. There are many implications and will we be willing to live with the massive changes to our industrialized world and comfortable western lifestyle which we have grown accustomed to? Not as simple as it first looks, is it? In the mean time I think I’ll take a more simple approach to greening my car.

* * *

Yes, But Is It Art?

2008-03-26T01:34:00.000-05:00

Yes, But Is It Art?

In a recent post entitled ‘Teddy Bear Justice’, I wrote of a British school teacher in a Sudanese classroom who had allowed her young students to name a teddy bear Mohammad. That simple innocent act was perceived as an unforgivable slight against the prophet as well as the religion of Islam itself. The school teacher was incarcerated while awaiting her fate. Frenzied crowds of rabid Sudanese gathered outside of her jail demanding she be put to death for her heinous act.

It reminded me of insults Christianity had put up with yet in these enlightened times I can’t recall any death threat being uttered against the perpetrators. In fact, controversial books with disparaging remarks about Christianity can be found in any library and insulting works of art have been prominently found in some art exhibitions.

Muslims demand a death sentence for when a teddy bear is named Mohammad yet Christians turn the other cheek when art galleries portray a crucifix submerged in a jar of urine as a work of art. Freedom of expression/speech. It can be paradoxically both wonderful and infuriating.

Segue: What really constitutes art? Is it all in the eye of the beholder? Art usually evokes some emotion from the viewer. Is confusion, anger or hatred an acceptable target when creating art? Does anything go?

In 1917, Marcel Duchamp decided to call a porcelain urinal art. I thought that I’d call my breadcrumb filled toaster “art” but I’m pretty sure that art galleries wouldn’t be fighting over the rights to exhibit my works of “kitchen appliances". Yet Marcel Duchamp has become known as the father of today’s postmodern conceptualist art. Go figure!

Taking this one step further, one skilled and talented artist must have been inspired by Duchamp in creating the ‘Nun Urinals’ - now you too can expose yourself to a nun and piss all over them. Yup, they call it art.

Some works of art border on the idiotic and obscene. A dress made of meat, to be replaced on a regular basis. Or perhaps Paul McCarthy’s brilliant work entitled ‘Mechanical Pig’. Haven’t heard of too may outcries from PETA over the death of this porker, nor the waste of food while millions starve. I have a package of bacon in my fridge which I would gladly display with my toaster if the price was right!

Then there is the downright confusing. The Art Gallery of Canada acquired a work both deeply inspirational and moving by American artist Barnett Newman at the cost of $1.8 million. I understand the value of this work of art entitled ‘The Voice Of Fire’ has appreciated substantially in the following years. Critics can spend hours debating the two shades of colour used on this canvas and marvel at the equal proportions of each stripe. What a marvellous use of the taxpayer’s dollar! I prefer to call it ‘Work By A Monkey With A Paint Roller’.

I might be convinced to accept Andy Worhol’s ‘Campbell Soup Can’ as art work but isn’t it really plagiarism??? I have a cupboard full of the originals in my kitchen and will part with them if the price is right. Any takers?

Perhaps the most disturbing trend in artwork is what I call ‘terrorist art’. Earlier this year a 19 year old female art student from MIT was arrested roaming around Boston’s Logan Airport wearing a shirt with an attached flashing circuit board. She thought nothing of walking up to airport information counters and inquire about departing flights. In her mind this activity and her work of art would draw the attention of prospective employers. In stead it drew the attention of a heavily armed SWAT team and she now faces the possibility of up to five years in prison.

In an apparent attempt to “one-up“ that stupidity, a 24 year old Icelandic student attending the Ontario College of Art And Design decided to combine the artistry of a bomb with that of a video as their project. A fake bomb was assembled and planted in the atrium of the Royal Ontario Museum. To continue the art project, a video was shot of a girl discovering the device as it explodes, drowning out her screams. This brilliant work was then uploaded to ‘You Tube’ for all to admire. As it turned out, the explosive device was not discovered until a $600 per plate, black tie fundraising dinner for AIDs research was about to get underway. The hoax disrupted this charitable event as attendees and their cheque books were sent away.

I am amazed that in this post 9/11 era, these two geniuses independently remarked that they had no idea that their art/hoax would create such chaos.

Perhaps making the local newspapers or having your video “go ballistic” on ‘You Tube’ is a way of grasping Andy’s 15 minutes of fame. More likely to garner 5 to 10 of time as a resident of the “crowbar hotel”.
Art, like freedom of speech, should end at shouting fire in crowded theatre or unnecessarily endangering the public by actions, even if the intent was innocent.

Musicians have written symphonies containing no musical notes, so it isn’t surprising that other inspired geniuses have created blank canvases put forward as art. Like those silent tunes and blank canvases, perhaps empty heads, devoid of creative ideas, bankrupt of constructive thoughts, could be put forth as examples of intellectual genius. But I don’t buy it…

New Addition: April 2008 - A Yale University student had decided to make her artistic statement by repeatedly artificially inseminating herself and sometime thereafter inducing an abortion with the results of her miscarriage submitted as 'art'. Audio-visual perhaps? Videotaped, grunts while the expelled material is preserved in jars or applied to canvas. No aspect of this creative endeavor was to be wasted. The community, on hearing of this project inundated Yale with complaints to which the administrators commented that it was a hoax. The 'artist' agreed that it was a hoax then later recanted, leaving the mentally stable community unsure. What a concept!

* * *

Teddy Bear Justice

2008-02-23T19:20:00.000-05:00

Teddy Bear Justice

Allah Acbar
(God Is Great - I Will Kill You!!!!)

Gillian Gibbons, an infidel British school teacher brought her heinous scheme to fruition this week when her deviously conceived plan to insult the Islamic prophet Mohammad was placed before her charges. Having brought a loveable and cuddly teddy bear into the classroom, she initiated her scandalous and evil plot by presenting three names for the stuffed toy. Her devious plot became fulfilled when she manipulated and used the innocent Sudanese children by having them choose which name the bear would receive.
The nasty deed was done. The children (20 of 23) had made their choice. The bear would be known as Mohammad.

The gleeful children, unaware of the atrocious plot they had fallen into, went home and revealed to their parents that Mohammad was their new furry friend. The parents, not being as naive as their children, were not so easily led astray and quickly realized that this was a plot by the western world to denigrate and insult the Islamic prophet Mohammad and undermine the Islamic religion.

Common sense prevailed and Islamic justice served as the 54 year old school marm was led way in shame to pay for her atrocious deed. The suggested final punishment for this monstrous insult ranged 15 days in a Sudanese jail, 40 lashes, to outright execution as demanded by the hoards of protesters.

But why stop at the teacher? Perhaps the offending bruin be put to death for having the audacity to accept the prophets name in vain. I say put Mohammad to death too!!

It is about time western civilization learn to respect Islam! After all, the plan is, God willing, that we eventually all be converted to Islam, at gunpoint if necessary.

Ya gotta love those wacky Islamic extremists!!!

***To the credit of Canadian Muslims, they have united to protest the treatment of Gillian Gibbons by the Sudenese government As usual, it is the radicals that hijack the religion and twist its words to suit their own purpose.

Update: December 3rd, 2007 - The Sudanese president has pardoned Gillian Gibbons of the crime. She is expected to fly back to Brittan later today.

Major League Madness!!!

2008-01-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

Major League Madness!

The astronomical salaries of professional athletes continues to baffle me. Is there no ceiling? When a neurosurgeon wielding a scalpel is envious of the paycheque a sports “hero” wielding a baseball bat brings home, something is wrong. How do you justify earning $350 million even if over 10 years? For God’s sake people, it’s a child’s game played by adults! …and speaking of children, they can no longer spend ‘two bits’ to take in an afternoon game in the bleachers. Without major hard cash, the live experience is lost to them. And where will it end?

To put this society’s values in perspective, several major league baseball clubs are willing to pay ex-New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez $150 million on top of his present salary in order to obtain his services. In contrast, the government continues to offer a paltry $50 million for the capture of Osama Bin Laden. Too bad Osama can’t swing a bat! For that kind of money we should get Osama AND "a terrorist to be named later!"

* * *

2007-12-01T15:55:00.000-05:00

Legalized Home Invasion: Part Two

Radio ads are not enough. TV commercials don’t quite do it. Newspaper inserts are too passive. Roadside billboards don’t reach everyone. Mailboxes stuffed with flyers are too easily discarded. Spam e-mails are filtered & deleted. What is left? Why, home invasion by your telephone! Your home is no longer your castle as the phone has lowered the drawbridge over your moat. Alexander Graham Bell must be proud of how his invention has been put to such good use.

Thursday night. Eight unsolicited calls. “Are you considering replacing your doors & windows?” “Congratulations, you have won a free trip to our new resort in Collingwood”. “I’m calling from the ‘disease of the day’ society. We need your cash!” “I’m calling from the Toronto Star Newspaper - could I interest you in home delivery of our daily rag? - Why not?” “Can you spare a half hour for a short survey?” "Your ducts are filthy - we can clean them".....and on and on…. Arrrrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!

A conservative estimate would be that some 95% of the calls coming into this house are unwanted sales pitches. Enough is enough!

This is a notice to all my friends. I will be relying on my phone’s call display feature to decide whether to answer that ringing nuisance or not. I will only answer names and numbers that are displayed and that I recognize. The rest will be directed to my answering machine and will be screened, dealt with or deleted at my discretion. With the advent of cell phones, public phones are today almost non-existent. I will not be expecting calls from phone booths, anonymous numbers and will not answer any blocked "unknown number".

If you are a legitimate business, I expect you to refrain from blocking your ID and present yourself honestly. I have no obligation to pick up to explain to you that I am not interested. Move on to the next potential victim.

I’ve decided this tactic is necessary as “Ma Bell” has decided to play both sides of the street. They are eager to sell you ‘call display’ and just as happy to sell vendors and telemarketers ‘number blocking’. The belief is that if I don’t know who is calling, I’ll pick up to find out.

I have already made the decision never to utilize any service, or buy the product from a company that directly contacts me at home by phone. End of story!

No more!!! - Be advised - the plug is pulled!

*A recent newspaper article revealed that Bell Canada sells phone numbers from new installations to telemarketing firms. Now you can get sales pitches from Window & Door manufactures for replacements even before you moved into your new home!

Community Advertising - Community Vandalism

2007-11-19T21:24:00.000-05:00

Community Advertising or Community Vandalism?

Ok, so I decide one day that I must have my ducts cleaned immediately and as I love my community, I decide to by-pass the newspaper ads, the telephone books, the internet search and take my desperate search to the street. That’s right, I grab a pen and note pad, hop in my car and drive around searching for the back of a stop sign, that side of the mail box, that light standard or telephone pole plastered with posters and advertisements. Stapled, nailed glued, it doesn’t matter - there they are all dog-eared, weathered and in tatters - layer upon layer of deals and promotions advertising every “quality” service imaginable just by dialling the number below. Why I bet if you were to cut through that telephone pole, you could calculate its age by counting the layers of paper attached to it!

Yeah right, my first choice in the selection of a qualified, well established, honest professional who guarantees his work will be to go to the nearest telephone pole and jot down that phone number. No address on most ads but that doesn’t bother me - I have trust and I’m sure they’re not a “fly-by-night” outfit. They must be nearby as they took the time to personally place this ad on top of all the others.
Here, take my cheque!

Yet some people must respond to these ads as they proliferate faster than political promises at election time. Just as the brainless idiots that answer computer “spam” with their credit card number and an order for “Bob’s generic Viagra”, it takes only a 0.01% reply rate to make the technique viable. Swallow that blue pill and get screwed in more ways than anticipated.

Sorry guys, when I search for a service, I’ll stick to the reliable sources where I can verify location, ask around for previous customer’s experiences and opinions and know that they have been in the business long enough to have become competent - all before even approaching the sales desk.

Finally, as I do love my community, I would never want to do business with any individual or company that vandalizes my community’s property, leaving every street corner plastered with ads weathered and long expired. The city should track down the individuals or companies responsible by their phone number and fine them appropriately. Post No Bills!

Sell, Sell, Sell - It’s Never Too Young To Be A Customer

2007-11-17T22:48:00.000-05:00

Sell, Sell, Sell - It’s Never Too Young To Be A Customer

This month, Roger’s cable announced the launch of not one, but two Cable TV channels aimed at infants. Newborns that suck on their toes and smile so cutely when passing gas can now have their attention diverted and watch the latest cutting edge, intellectually stimulating, brain developing images flash away on the TV screen. That’s if they can focus for more than a few seconds. Never too soon to imprint on their brains what pabulum they should be spitting up or what brand of diapers the should be filling.

Now what loving and caring parent would deny their offspring of this chance to be nurtured and moulded into the next scientist or president/prime minister, humanitarian. Not YOU!! And access is only $4.95/mo each. You don’t want your neighbour’s “rug rats” to have an unfair advantage over yours, now do you? Come on, be a responsible parent and sign on.

Perhaps womb TV is next, as you never no where your future customer is hiding.

* * *

Canadian Justice System At Work For You

2007-11-16T07:57:00.000-05:00

Canadian Justice System At Work For You

(…as the youth was brought before the judge to stand trial for the murder of his parents, he begged the court to have mercy on him as he was an orphan…)

(…the youth should be considered armed and dangerous. The perpetrator is known to police however name and identifying features must be withheld from release under provisions of the Youth Criminal Justice Act - if spotted do not approach!... )

Canada has a legal system,........sadly it is devoid of a justice system...

* * *

There seems to be no end to the idiocy displayed by all factions of what is called the Canadian Justice System. Whether it is The Youth Criminal Justice Act (2003) which replaced the equally laughable Young Offender’s Act (1984), the appointed judiciary that sit on their brains all day, bottom feeding defense lawyers or “club fed” detention facilities. Our so called justice system disappoints at almost every turn.

In Canada a Life Sentence means a maximum of 25 years without the possibility of parole. The maximum sentence is rarely given. Full parole can be applied for after serving two third of a sentence (~16 years), providing good behaviour in the interim.

Day parole can be requested after serving one third (~8 years) of the sentence. A “two for one” deal is applied to any time served while waiting for trial thereby further reducing total time served. Therefore in Canada, the time behind bars may be as little as 5 years for even the most heinous crimes committed against civilized society. (remember these figures when reading the cases further below)

Incarcerated inmates may have numerous privileges often including taxpayer funded higher education, all healthcare including dental and optical (not funded by the provincial health care system to common citizens), a salary, conjugal visits while some even offer pools and golf courses amongst other luxuries. On the other hand, the Justice System, including the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board (1971) frequently intimidates, torments & harasses victims (1) resulting in drawn out frustration, leading to their dropping of claims of assistance. If a killer is beaten in prison, he has a right to have his compensation claim dealt with within 60 days. Claims for assistance with the CICB can drag on for years and can present an enormous hardship on families particularly if a murder victim was the primary source of income for the family.

(1) A CIBC official berated the mother of a murder victim for not dotting an "i" on the documentation she submitted. (Source: The Toronto Sun: ‘They Should All Hang Their Heads’ - March 2nd, 2007)

Below are a few examples of our system run amok:

(1) On September 9th 2004, an off duty Toronto police officer ran over a pedestrian who later succumbed to his injuries in hospital. Witnesses saw the driver “stagger” over to the victim, lean over him and shout “oh no” before getting into his vehicle and driving off. The presiding judge sentenced the officer to 12 months house arrest to which the victim’s brother exclaimed “We put him on vacation, at home with his TV to watch sports”.
(pass the nachos!)

(2) A male teenager from Sarnia who deliberately set a house fire that contributed to a rescuer's heart attack and forced as many as 15 people to jump from a second-story balcony has been sentenced to 8 months in custody.
(it’s their fault!)

(3) Residents of a Toronto home were shot dead on Oct. 9, 2001, by a delusional next-door neighbour who believed they were government agents bent on evil. Now in 2007 their killer has been granted permission to reintegrate into the east end Toronto neighbourhood.
(knock, knock - I’m home!)

(4) A 21-year-old man was sentenced to 8 years in prison for his part for what the judge called an “utterly senseless and shocking” murder of a hardworking teenage grocery clerk who was lured from his shop and beaten to death. Originally charged with first-degree murder in this Jan 14th 2005 murder, he will serve 3 1/2 years in prison after getting credit for 26 months spent in pre-trial custody.

(5) A Montreal man accused of beating and burning a 6-year-old boy pleaded guilty to aggravated assault. He was charged in May 2005 after the boy was found frothing at the mouth and having difficulty breathing. The man will spend 1 year in a federal penitentiary after the court gave him four years credit for 22 months of pre-trial custody. He was given slightly more than the standard two-for-one credit because of repeated beatings while in custody.
(poor fellow!)

(6) The sister of Toronto’s deputy mayor is a "tragic figure who snapped" when she hurled feces at a 12-year-old last year, a judge said. He further stated "I think she has paid enough and she has suffered enough," as he gave her an absolute discharge for the incident. The brother exclaimed she is “an exemplary principal for our schools ... who is much missed.”
(Hey, Shit Happens - Fine role model wants to resume moulding young minds!)

(7) “It was an accident! You mean I have to serve another 3 years?” The prisoner blurted from the prisoner's box. During his trial, a jury heard how this “gentleman” hit the victim head-on, then sped along the highway for 29 km with a busted fender flapping, peering through his shattered windshield, running red lights and forcing other drivers off the road as he swerved. Police said the driver was "obnoxious and belligerent" as he staggered and almost fell out of his van when they caught up with him in Meaford, bleary-eyed and stinking of alcohol. "He has no remorse," said the Crown attorney, who asked for a six-year prison sentence. The defense asked for less than two years, noting his age and only one other dated criminal conviction for impaired driving in 1981. 3 year term.
(Day parole after 1 year)

(8) The Toronto bar-hopping mother who salsa-danced the night away while abandoning her 2-year-old daughter to die alone of dehydration will be freed on statutory release after serving 2 years of her 3 year sentence. The child was left alone for 33 hours in sweltering heat at their North York apartment in September 2002.
(you need a license to have a dog, but not a child!)

(9) ) A man who nearly bludgeoned his spouse to death to punish her for having an affair has been sentenced to 10 years in prison. "This can only be described as a cold-blooded, brutal attack," the Justice said. The perpetrator had called his wife “fat and stupid” and proceeded to bludgeon her with an axe and hammer leaving her disfigured and blind in one eye.
(10 years = 6 ½ years for full parole & 3 years for day parole)

(10) Two young men who drove at high speed up Mount Pleasant Rd. in separate cars and caused the death of a popular Pakistani taxi driver have been sentenced to house arrest for a year (from 11 pm to 6 am!-I call that sleep). Their Mercedes reached speeds estimated at between 80 and 140 km/h on a 60 km/h road. The lawyer representing them states that “they were driving side by side at a high rate of speed but were not racing.”. “They intended to drive (at illegally high speeds),” The judge said in his ruling, “but neither ever imagined or intended the consequences of their actions.” (ie. It’s okay to commit crime if you don’t think it is going to hurt anyone!) The judge rejected the prosecution's request for a three-year penitentiary sentence against the first-time offenders, both of them university students who come from stable, supportive (and rich) families.

(11) A "butcher" who savagely murdered a woman in Toronto, cut off her breast and stuffed it in her mouth seems to be behaving himself on day parole in British Columbia. He was convicted of second-degree murder in the May 1988 for the gruesome slaying and was sentenced to life in prison with no parole for at least 20 years.
(nice neighbour! - not a dangerous offender!)

(12) A woman burst into tears when she was told the man who beat her husband into a vegetative state has been granted a new trial by the Supreme Court, partly because the trial judge took too long to submit his written ruling. The assailant who has a 15-year history of violence, was declared a dangerous offender and sentenced to an indefinite prison term after he was found guilty in a November 2000 attack that left the victim unable to speak, move or eat without help. His only way of communicating with the world is by blinking. In addition to the other injuries he inflicted, he also tore off one of the victim’s ears before leaving his bleeding body in the hall. He then stole a TV and drove away in the victim's car. The beating sparked a public furor, in part because of the bill for long-term medical care incurred by the victim's family. The Crown had failed 10 years earlier to have the perpetrator declared a danger to the public and locked up indefinitely. He was previously convicted of a list of crimes, including the shooting of a city police constable in 1988 and tearing the penis off the two-year-old son of a girlfriend in 1992. Ruling June 7th, 2007.
(What does it take to be declared a dangerous offender???)

(13) A 20-year-old who killed another Halloween reveler with a "sucker punch" in a parking-lot dispute after his friend was refused a cigarette has been sentenced to 15 months in jail. The Crown prosecutor called for a five-year sentence while the defense lawyer sought 12 to 14 months, reduced to three months after time served. Factors militating against a harsh sentence included the assailant’s youth, supportive family, steady work and education endeavors, and lack of a criminal record. With time off for good behaviour, he will likely serve only 6 months.
(what is a human life worth these days???)

(14) Incriminating statements made to police by the wife of a B.C. man convicted of murder should not have been admitted at his trial, Canada's top court said Friday in upholding a B.C. court's ruling. The 5-4 ruling by the Supreme Court of Canada effectively clears the way for a new trial for the now “alleged“ murderer, who was convicted in 2003 of the 1986 murders of two women. The conviction was based on statements by the man’s wife that he confessed to killing the women before having sex with their dead bodies and burying them. He was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole for 16 years. Five Supreme Court judges agreed with the appeal judgment that the wife’s testimony undermined the Spousal Incompetency Rule — meant to protect marital harmony against "the natural repugnance resulting from one spouse testifying against the other."
(The man kills two women and has sex with their corpses but the wife’s testimony is disallowed as the court wants to preserve marital harmony in their home and not have the wife see hubby as repugnant??!!! Huh???)

(15) Sexsomnia. A date for a hearing in the Ontario Court of Appeal has yet to be set for a man who admitted to rape but was acquitted because he claimed to be asleep during the crime. The Crown won an appeal in February in the case of the man, 33, who was acquitted on Nov. 29, 2005 after a judge ruled he was sleeping during the July 2003 incident.
( Yawn- Judge asleep at the bench is even more dangerous!!)

(16) On the day of the funeral for an Innisfil truck driver killed in a road-racing incident, two men charged with causing his death appeared in court in handcuffs. Sitting in the prisoners box, both 20 year old drivers, from Etobicoke, quietly nodded to family members. Defense lawyer Angela McLeod said it is not fair to use this tragedy as a political tool and wants the accused men to get out on bail. (Sentencing pending) "My client is very young. He should be out studying exams and applying for university”.
(yeah, you “horse’s ass” , it is not fair that three children no longer have a father nor the wife a husband)

(17) A Superior Court judge rebuked the Crown and ordered it to pay $27,000 in legal costs to alleged gang members for failing to have timely bail hearings after the massive Toronto gang bust this June (A week ago!). The nine will receive $3,000 apiece from the order.
(arrest me as I need some money!!!)

(18) A 23 year old man was convicted of manslaughter in the 2005 murder of an Edmonton girl on her 18th Birthday. With credit for time served the murderer was sentenced to just over 11 years in prison by a judge who called the incident “a random act of senseless violence that cannot and should not be tolerated by our society” The murder’s lawyer angrily denounced the sentence which was twice as long as the one he suggested. He will appeal.
(The lawyer believes that a 6 year sentence with day parole in 2 years and full parole in 4 years is more appropriate for a “senseless murder” - see photo of horse's ass as in #16 )

(19) The Federal Government once again sided with the criminals rather than the victims with the creation of the Intensive Rehabilitative Custody & Supervision Program (IRCS).
In return for accepting treatment for their mental issues, serious violent offenders can escape adult prison and do easy time in a youth facility, like Ontario's Sprucedale, while taxpayers spend $100,375 per inmate for academic courses, counselling, "life skills" and reintegration. Last year Ottawa earmarked $3.4 million for 24 of the country's worst of the worst young murderers and rapists with psychological disorders while victims and their families can wait years for meagre, if any, compensation by the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board (CICB).

In 2004, one of the first accepted into the new program was the 18-year-old Hamilton youth who had killed another 18-year old with a sucker punch as the victim was Christmas shopping for his mother. A judge turned down the Crown's request for a 6 1/2- year adult sentence for manslaughter and instead agreed to just 30 months in custody at Sprucedale. Now 20, the Hamilton killer was boasting to everyone that the federal government will now be paying for his college tuition, laptop computer and his living expenses. On his $16,000 IRCS wish list, he also requested a plasma screen TV and new designer clothing.

More recently, there was the $700 piece of wood Canadian taxpayers purchased for a killer who brutally beat and sexually assaulted 15-year-old in Brantford. The lumber was so that the killer could build his own guitar in the Sprucedale shop. This as the victim’s mother struggles not to lose her house after the incident cause so much strain that she and her husband split up.
(God bless Canada, land of the free,……….and those temporarily inconvenienced by incarceration)

(20) An Edmonton Alberta judge had granted refugee status to 16 year old Nasser Muhsin, an American murder suspect. The youth allegedly shot a father who struggled to hold a market’s doors shut in an attempt to prevent the escape of three robbers. The murder was witnessed by the victim’s son and has identified the fugitive in question as the shooter. The entire incident was also captured on the store's video surveillance camera. Muhsin claims he might be hurt or killed by rival gangs if sent back to the US. (not worried about the law?) The victim’s son told WTVF-TV "I've never been to Canada, but if they're going to let some murderer be free, that's messed up,"
(just the kind of immigrants we are looking for - another equine posterior judge!)

(21) Also included in the hall of shame is an Ontario judge’s ruling that a 6 year old child is herself partially responsible for her being sexually molested as she enticed the pervert and an Alberta judge who awarded a 6 figure settlement to a correctional institute’s inmate after he slipped in the water of a floor he himself was mopping thereby injuring himself..

New:

(22) A Muslim inmate has won $2000 and a “human rights” victory over Correctional Services of Canada’s policy not to replace bacon with a halal diet for Islam-worshiping cons. Jailed inmates breakfasts consist of three pieces of bacon, two eggs, three slices of toast, jam, ketchup, milk coffee, juice and cereal. Although Muslim inmates receive all of these items except for the bacon, they became “bent out of shape” because they did not receive some replacement item to make up for the unwanted bacon. The prison claimed that there was no budget available to purchase specialty foods for select inmates.
The poor Muslim con that couldn’t stay out of jail, eats a better breakfast than most Canadians even if passing on the bacon - eats better than in many Muslim nations, and is then awarded $2000 for his mental anguish from not having a replacement item for his three strips of bacon. I wonder what would happen if a Canadian jailed in an Islamic state prison would insist on a replacement for whatever item in his meal was unacceptable? Hmmmm?

(23) A 30 year old Oakville Ontario resident who was his emotionally troubled sister’s “protector” was recently found guilty of her death. He claimed her death was an accident but in the hours following her demise he dismembered her with a hack saw, cutting off her hands so there would be no fingerprints and boiled her head “to destroy DNA” in an attempt to frustrate police. The remainder of her body was cut into pieces for disposal down a garbage chute, wrapped in plastic and frozen or transported in duffle bags on public transit to various city parks. Over 75% of her body has never been recovered. Police became involved when neighbours complained of the smell emanating from his apartment. Hair and tissue were still found in a sink and mixed with kitty litter.

He never called 911 nor did he ever show any remorse for her death. Regardless his defense attorney reminded the court that the defendant had no criminal record and “was a good candidate for rehabilitation. He went on to state “he will never do it again”.
The defendant was found guilty of manslaughter and the honourable judge presiding sentenced him to 6 ½ years for this heinous crime. He was given 4 ½ years credit for time served so he’ll be required to spend another 2 years less a day in provincial jail
Justice is served. New tenant coming to an apartment near you…

(24) A mother’s grief remains 11 years after her 16 year old daughter was raped, beaten with a sawed off shotgun and murdered during a home invasion by three youths looking for drugs and money. In 1997 the mastermind who plotted the home invasion/murder was sentenced to 7 ½ years after pleading guilty. After pre-trial custody, he spent just 4 ½ years more years in prison. The mother said of his light sentence “it was a joke”. “He showed no remorse but would just smile at me from the prisoner’s box”, she said of the defendant. She followed with the prophetic statement “we’ll see him in the newspapers again”.

That same ex-con, now 29 was back in custody last week (Oct 2007) charged with the first-degree murder of a 25 year old Mohawk College student who dreamed of being a police officer.

To add to her current stress, the fellow who actually pulled the trigger on her daughter is up for parole in December of 2007 and mom will be attending his hearing in an attempt to keep this second piece of trash from re-entering civilized society.

The courts have no remorse for turning this killer back onto the streets but mom does. She suffers with guilt that she should have done more to keep her child’s murderer in jail and perhaps prevented this latest tragedy. (more Canadian revolving door incarceration)

(25) In February of 2006 two men became involved in a bar room dispute with two other men over two women. In retaliation the two invaded the home where the four from the bar were sleeping. The two invaders beat the four home occupants with baseball bats so severely that all were bloodied and had numerous broken bones. The worst of the injured had to be airlifted to Toronto for two brain surgeries and one female injured in the groin will never be able to bear children.
The two home invaders plead guilty to aggravated assault and were to be sentence on January 8th 2007 however even after being seated in court with friends and family of the victims present, the case was “bumped” for the second time!
The judge apologized to the two assailants for the delay in sentencing however no apologies were offered to those assaulted, or their families for their inconvenience.
The two men who were assaulted live in fear of the two convicted being released or the case being thrown out for not being dealt with in a timely manner.
(realistically, who really is paying the price for this crime??)

* * *

These few examples just barely scratch the surface. Until the governments courts make laws with clout, reflecting the citizens beliefs and courts sentence accordingly, idiotic or criminal behaviour will continue unabated.

Watch This Space

* * *

(Two Lawyers get into a tremendous row right in front of the judge. “Sir, you are the biggest fool I have ever laid my eyes on” one lawyer shouted at the other. “Order, Order!” shouted the judge. “you seem to forget that I’m in the room!”)

(The Canadian law is an ass and takes perverse pleasure at mooning the public at every opportunity! )

* * *

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch! - Things That Bug Me

2007-06-29T22:43:00.001-05:00

Things That Bug Me

(If You Can't Convince Them - Confuse Them!)

(1) Child Poverty: How can you have child poverty without adult poverty? Assuming the child is not orphaned or abandoned, the only way to address child poverty is to address the entire issue. The term conjures up and image of a child in rags while parents wear Armani suits and nosh on Russian caviar.

(2) Honourable Member: We address our politicians as “honourable” because their behaviour often does not reflect this character. As it isn't self evident, citizens must remind themselves at every turn that your hard working politicians command respect. Hard work for an abbreviated work year pulling down a six figure salary and countless tax free perks. Yawn!

(3) “Total” Toothpaste: Addresses all issues including white teeth, fresh breath, tartar, gingivitis, cavity protection, germ reduction ,etc, etc, etc. My question is “Shouldn’t all toothpastes be “Total”?” Does anyone say “I want tarter reduction but forget the fresh breath” or “the bacteria can stay but give me white teeth”? What happened to good old Toothpaste!?

(4) Graffiti Spray Paint Vandals: Artists? No! Jobless youths choosing to spend their evenings and their (?) money by purchasing an arsenal of spray paints in order to damage someone else’s property. How would they feel if their property was the recipient of my art? Get a job and a canvas!

(5) Antibacterial Soap: Well what the hell was soap throughout history? When cavemen found that ashes (caustic material) mixed with animal fat and water had a cleansing action, soap was invented and variations of that product has served us throughout history. It’s bi-polar molecules bind to dirt as well as bacteria to disrupt and remove them. Specific antibacterial additives are fine for industry and hospitals but hitting a bacterium with a bigger hammer won’t make it any deader! Marketing hype aimed at the common consumer. We need it!!!

(5) PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals): Yes, animals should not be abused or tortured but that is where their concern should stop. Native people and others still need animal meat and skins for income or survival. Medical research still requires animal models and zoos still educate our young. You may have a valid opinion and lifestyle but so do I. Don’t attempt to impose your values on me! I believe the acronym stands for “People Eating Tasty Animals”.
Pass me my steak!

(6) Disrespect: I just hate that word. In a civilized society people should show a general respect for all others. Individual respect is not a given right but is earned. These days you can look at some baggy pant, hat askew, toothpick chewing, pierced and tattooed punk the wrong way and get shot for "dissing" him.

(7) Trends or the day: Fall on the bandwagon until the next catch phrase or cause appears. Organic - now everything bears the description ‘organic’ to trap the consumer. Check the product carefully! Green Tea Extract - ever since reports suggesting that green tea has antioxidant properties, everything has green tea incorporated into it. From cereals to chocolate bars to shampoos. Hair cells are dead!! They lack the ability to incorporate anything let alone oxidize. "Green" -Anything green sells these days. My hardware store salesperson told me that my gallon of red paint was "green". My toothpaste contains TR7?? I don’t know what it is but it must be good. I’ll buy it because the leading competitor doesn’t have it.

(8) No Smoking: As a non-smoker I fail to understand the entire smoking issue. Cigarette sales are still legal in Canada and the exorbitant taxes fund many useful projects. Yet there s the ongoing crackdown on public smoking in places such as pubs & bars even if specifically designated as such. Not satisfied with community locales, the movement is now attempting to prevent you from lighting up in private rental apartment suites. Old soldiers who have survived firefights in World Wars have been banned from smoking in retirement homes and veteran’s hospitals citing concern for their health. Bullets yes, cigarettes no? You can see these gentlemen garbed in hospital gowns, bare butts exposed to winter snows, IV pole grasped in one fist and a cigarette in the other, shivering on the institute grounds. Governments have banned cigarette sales from pharmacies as they are supposed to promote health. If nicotine is a drug, then where better to distribute it from than a drug store? Consequences of smoking taxes the health care system? So do the consequences of skateboarding, rock climbing and contact sports.

(8) Paparazzi: Those two legged vermin with cameras that push and shove in a rabid, foaming at the mouth, white knuckled frenzy in order to annoy, invade, intrude, disrupt, stalk some celebrity for a photo. Would they tolerate similar behaviour if directed against themselves or their families? Earning a living? I think not!!! Shame!!

(9) Fast, Pre-cooked, Ready Made, Unnecessarily Instant!
Maple Leaf Pre-Cooked Ready Crisp Bacon - Naw, I think I'll pass. Not processed enough for me. I'll wait for Maple Leaf Pre-chewed bacon or better yet, Pre-digested Now get someone to eat it for you too. Sheesh! How much time does cooking a few slices take out of your precious day?

(10) Buy One, Get One Free: What a major misnomer!!! Free is FREE! I don't have to do anything to receive the product or service. Truth in advertising would state that "You get a second one for the same price" or restated "Two for the price of one". "We will throw in another at no additional charge." "Free" is only if you give me one with no obligation to exchange ANY money. The only thing that seems to be free today is unwanted advice.

(11) "Au Jus": My, how high-brow….. Now you can get your fast food roast beef sub with “au jus!” With au jus???? That bull on a bun sounds so much more appetizing if you link it with French cordon bleu cuisine and serve it with au jus. So what are the linguists at the local sub shack trying to tell you? Let’s translate. “Au” is “with”* in French and “jus” is “juice”. So when that when that pimple faced, apron garbed teen behind the counter tells you your sub comes with “au Jus” his is telling you your sub comes with “with juice”. Super-sizing your order with redundancy - with with. The sub comes au jus. One “with” will do! (both au and avec translate to “with”)

(12) ‘Total’ Everything

Okay, the alarm goes off and I start my day popping a Vitamin tablet containing 100% of my supposedly required supplements. Off to the kitchen for a bowl of ‘Total’ cereal with 100% of my nutritional supplements. Wash that down with orange juice supplemented with a daily does of calcium. Yogurt & Milk for a snack, with added calcium. Added Iron, reinforced with Zinc, extra Vitamin C fortified with Selinium, blah, blah, blah…and on and on with each mouthful. By the end of the day I’ve overdosed on vitamins and am crapping ‘A’s’, ‘B’s’. ‘C’s and virtually every other letter of the alphabet that hasn’t been over-absorbed down the toilet.

(13) Watch this space: - this crazy world never disappoints.

* * *
* * *

Circus Media At the Paris 'Hilton'

2007-06-09T11:27:00.000-05:00

Media Circus Takes Up Residence
In the Paris ‘Hilton’

(What A Sad Society!)

What a sad society we have become! We have embraced an artificial and plastic world and have created “False Gods” which to worship and heap our adoration upon.
I am not sure which is sadder, Paris herself, the media circus pursuing her, or the general public that eagerly consumes all the trash generated.

At 26, Paris Whitney Hilton reached maturity and adulthood, numerically at least, and thus is responsible for her actions. Her arrest for a DUI and subsequent probation were jeopardized by Paris herself when she chose to drive on two occasions with a suspended license. She was sentenced to a 45 day stay at the L.A. County Jail.

Now ‘The Simple Life’ has become ‘The Real World’!

What is all the media frenzy all about? Paris’ claim to fame is short and for all intents and purposes, insignificant;

Heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune (old money)
Some modeling exposure as a child and adult
Leaked home made sex video
Few bit roles in forgettable movies
Short lived reality show ‘The Real Life’
Released contrived solo musical album ’Paris’ selling an insignificant 621,350 worldwide as of 2000

I just cannot comprehend what the rabid attraction is to this flighty
‘socialite’!!!.

Like flies on shit, the media go stumbling over each other, foaming at the mouth, cameras in hand trying to photograph any movement through the windows of her home or car. Helicopters hover above so as not to miss anything.

Paparazzi have been offered $500,000 for the first photographer to submit a photo of Paris in a jailhouse orange jumpsuit. What a pathetic herd of cattle!!! And why this asinine commotion? Because the brain dead, ignorant public are more than willing to shove fistfuls of dollars at gossip rags and magazines. They delight in the suffering of others, particularly if they were in the public spotlight.
They derive satisfaction from knowing that even the rich and famous can at times suffer as they do in their miserable, pathetic lives.

Soldiers are dying in Iraq. Genocide runs rampant in Dafur. Aids is decimating the African population. The environment is facing a global crisis. But what makes the front page of the newspapers and the lead story on TV’s headline news?
Paris is going to spend upwards of 45 days in a county jail!

Sad world!!!

* * *

June 24th Update: CNN has announced that it has secured the exclusive Paris Hilton interview for June 27th. The announcement follows a week of fierce competition between the networks to win the hotel heiress's first interview. ABC and NBC were reportedly offering anywhere from $50,000 to $1 million US for the privilege.

Have fun folks!

* * *

July 4th, 2007 Update: Selected results of an e-Bay Auction bidding on Paris Hilton’s Trash from her recent incarceration and release.

Empty gourmet dog food can taken from Paris‘ trash “fetched“ $305 US.
Used Toothbrush sold for $305 US.
Coke Can sold for $51 US.
Two envelopes sent to her while in jail sold for $510 US.

Total bidding reached $1.5 Million. What a sad bunch of people!!!

* * *

False Gods

2007-06-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

False Gods

A fast paced world getting faster. Instant, speedy, quick, rapid, swift, hasty, express, fast! The words as well as actions permeate our every day life. Immediate gratification, hurry up and get there, we want it now! Today’s life’s challenges has thrust this chaotic pace upon us and with a whimper we not only allow it into our lives, but we embrace it.

Like Moses descending from Mount Sinai and finding that his people had cast a golden calf which to worship, I see parallels with some of today’s most popular reality television shows. The Israelites were impatient and decided to cast their own idol to worship when Moses failed to promptly return from the mountain. Not much has changed since biblical times as we choose to circumvent due process today as well.

Reality shows may have their place but I am continually amazed to watch the network’s white knuckled, foaming at the mouth, programmer’s frenzied behaviour as they stumble over themselves in an attempt to find some twist of reality to feed to the hungry viewing public. I am amazed at the popularity of shows such as ‘American Idol’, ‘Rock Star Supernova’, ‘Dancing With The Stars‘ and ‘America’s Next Top Model’. It’s one thing for those in power to assist and offer support to those talented people searching for stardom. It’s yet another for the same to groom, coach, manipulate and stage individuals then foist them upon the viewer for their consumption. This creates a false idol but we revel in the concept of worshiping someone we feel we have had a hand in creating. This is sad.

Many of the contestants have talent while others desperately grasp at their “15 minutes of fame”. Yet others are pushed onto the stage by overbearing “stage moms” with stars and $$ in their eyes.

In my opinion, the only way to achieve fame is to earn it from the ground up. The struggles, victories and the defeats all contribute to moulding the artist as they inch towards possible stardom. There is no fast track to glory - only the creation of false gods.

In the words of the rock band ‘Deep Purple’ in their song ‘Smoke On The Water’ from their 1972 ‘Machine Head’ album, the last stanza sings;

We ended up at the grand hotel
It was empty cold and bare
But with the rolling truck stones thing just outside
Making our music there
With a few red lights and a few old beds
We make a place to sweat
No matter what we get out of this I know well never forget
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

(25 years later, the song is currently receiving airplay as an essential component of a car commercial)

I have to wonder. Will the winners of these reality shows still be remembered decades later as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Elvis Presley are today? I will wager that these fake heroes will be tossed aside and forgotten as soon as the new “flavour of the day” comes along - any day now.

* * *

***June 15th, Update: Kelly Clarkson, winner of the original American Idol competition held in 2002, has announced the cancellation of her summer tour due to lack of ticket sales. Interest has already waned.

* * *

Sam The Record Man Closing

2007-06-07T08:49:00.000-05:00

Sam The Record Man To Close Retail Store

(This is a supplementary post to my original on the U.S. distributor ‘Tower Records’)

Today the hardcopy music distribution industry took another hit as yet another retail franchise perished. Continuously diminishing sales due to the increasing popularity of digital musical downloads was responsible. The victim was Canada’s own ‘Sam the Record Man’. The remains can be viewed at Toronto’s flagship store until June 30th, 2007.

‘Sam The Record Man’s’ flagship downtown Toronto store opened in 1961 although owner Sam Sniderman started selling albums as early as 1937. This store was the place to be to usher in the birth of the Beatles then progressing through the hippie lifestyle and Psychedelic music, Hard Rock, the Disco craze, Metal & New Wave. If you wanted to find that rather rare album or the latest hit, Sam’s was the place to be.

I recall stopping in at Sam’s in the late 60’s with my dad where I purchased ‘Heavy’ by Iron Butterfly (1968), ‘This Was’ by Jethro Tull (1968) and later, ‘Cosmos Factory’ by Creedence Clearwater Revival (1970).

Somewhat older in 1976, I found myself in Toronto with a friend. We shopped the downtown Yonge Street strip and stopped into Sam’s. An album was being played over the store’s audio system as we continued to shop. Leaving the store, we went uptown to my friend’s brother’s apartment. All that night I had a tune from Sam’s running through my head. Long before anyone else awoke, I got up and took the subway back downtown to Sam’s front door. Entering, I bought that album which was Gordon Lightfoot’s ‘Summertime Dream’. I had been a Lightfoot fan since the late 1960’s and even had a “best of” album, but it was his classic ‘Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald’ that made me a lifelong fan and motivated me to collect every shred of music he ever recorded. Thanks Sam! Over the decades, hundreds of records and CDs made their way from Sam The Record Man’s bins, to my home collection.

Sam Sniderman has assisted numerous musicians over the years, His store has had visitors such as Gordon Lightfoot, Ronnie Hawkins, the members of Rush and even Elton John. Sam’s store is referred to in the Barenaked Ladies tune ‘Brian Wilson’ as ‘that late night record shop” The iconic spinning record sign has appeared in countless movies, including David Cronenberg’s ‘Scanners’ and the quintessential Canadian film ‘Going Down The Road’. In fact, Croneberg worked at Sam’s Yonge Street store as a teenager.

Sam Sniderman became a member of ‘The Order Of Canada’ in 1976 and he also has a Juno for Special Achievement in the industry.

Whenever my crowd of friends and I found ourselves making a pilgrimage to Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens to experience a live rock concert, Sam’s was always a must on our journey. While employed in Toronto in the 80’s, Sam’s, A&A’s, Sunrise, Records On Wheels, HMV, Towers, Peter Dunn’s Vinyl Museum and a variety of independent vinyl merchants were on my rounds while making my way home each evening. In later years, Sam’s became a meeting place where I would link up with a friend for the evening’s entertainment. Today, most of those retailers no longer exist.

Musical trends change, vinyl became CDs, my musical heroes started to die off one by one and now it seems the lowly music retail store, like myself, has become a dinosaur doomed to extinction. The immediate future belongs to Rap & Hip-Hop, droopy drawered, caps askew, chain draped youngsters with i-Pods and digital downloads. Like my parents didn’t understand bell bottoms, tie dyed T-shirts, Rock Music & record collections, I don’t quite understand the present. What a shock it will be to today’s youth when they eventually find their precious world slipping away down that endless abyss of time. But that is how life goes….

I do have to wonder what impact the digital download phenomena will have on future musicians. Musicians are a rare breed and string notes together for the pure love of it. Money may or may not be a motivating force but all wish to hit the “big time” with their career. What impact will the sale of individual songs have, when not attached to an entire album? The entire dynamics of the music industry are in transition like never before. For the first time, garage bands themselves can record, mix, burn CDs if desired and distribute their music with professional quality without the massive gears of the recorded musical empire. This might be a positive change as the musical direction of bands will lie in their own hands and not be manipulated by “the suits” behind industry desks. Will the future produce world famous bands such as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones or U2 or will individual new bands and their songs be lost amongst the millions of other offerings flooding the on-line music distributors such as I-Tunes, Napster or Yahoo. I fear the future of music will be much more regionalized. Will word of mouth be sufficient to spread the word of the next new trend to the world?

It is my opinion that the youngsters of today are cutting the creative throat of the music industry itself. They will eventually reap the outcome, regardless of what it may be. To me the future for the music industry looks bleak.

Play it again Sam……not likely

* * *

***Update June 23rd, 2007: The city of Toronto has designated the 'Sam The Record Man' building as a local heritage site.

* * *

***Update November 12th, 2007: The 'Music World' chain of retail music stores has filed for bankruptcy, once again due to poor sales as the popularity of the hardcopy musical format is replaced by the digital download. This leaves the music retailer HMV as the only remaining chain dedicated to recorded music.

In the words of Don McLean "The Day The Music Died".

See also 'Musical Formats: Digital vs Analogue'

* * *

Traffic Signs Translated

2007-06-06T09:23:00.000-05:00

What Traffic Signs Really Mean To Some Drivers

(Recognize Yourself?)

* * *

Take a drive down any city street to discover one more indicators of the decline of civilized society. Within minutes of leaving your driveway you will encounter hoards of insensitive, rude, discourteous, impatient, self-centered dangerous oafs who feel that they are God's gift to driving and that everyone else behind a wheel has been placed there to inconvenience and annoy them.

Turn signals have become optional, full stops an annoyance, weaving lane changes a necessity and excessive speed an absolute requirement to prove one's superiority.

Below are a few examples of how many of today's drivers interpret traffic signs.

* * *

Telemarketers - Legalized Home Invasion

2007-06-04T09:02:00.000-05:00

Legalized Home Invasion

(There’s nowhere you can hide!)

June 21st, 2007. The morning started rather quietly. The sun was shining, my home was my castle and I thought that the bridge over my moat was raised. But then, like many other days throughout the year, the siege started.

11:07 am - Roger’s Communications (1): The first call of the day was from Roger’s Communications who’s sales representative attempted to interest me with the offer of additional TV stations. I had long ago assembled a smorgasbord of digital television packages, each offering one or two interesting stations amongst numerous “tag along” filler products which no one but bored insomniacs would choose to watch. With some 300 plus channels broadcast, it had not escaped me that network affiliates carried identical episodes of some exhausted re-run that were repeated at least once in each of the 100’s. That quickly pares my choice down from 300 to about 100 channels. Of those 100 channels, I sadly realized that I had spent time viewing about half of the episodes carried. Now, with some 50 channels left, there are some which I would never choose to watch. The program might be topical, however I would never be interested in ‘Islam 101’, Sponge Bob Squarepants nor am I captivated by the glittering baubles offered on ‘The Shopping Channel’. We’re now down to 25 channels. Throughout the day a few of the channels are broadcasting ’infomercials’ for “Abscruncher” or any of a multitude of sure fire weight loss supplements. It struck me that at any given time I might find rewarding program on just slightly more channels than I had available to me as a child by tweaking the “rabbit ears” antennae, but now I pay. Now, for a very special introductory price, I could expand my choices to over 400 channels and could watch even more of those same re-runs and infomercials, some even in high definition. It seems that if there is something new, interesting, entertaining, educational and original, it will be broadcast on a specialty channel, just one tier up from what I have paid for. Enough is enough - time to start dropping TV packages and return to reading books!
Thanks, but no sale!

2:33 pm - Bell Canada Sympatico (2): The pitchman on the phone started right in on a spiel about the benefits of switching our internet service to Bell Canada’s Sympatico. No chance to politely interrupt and decline the offer as the pre-rehearsed rapid fire pitch unfolded . The interesting statement was “if you are not with Bell’s Sympatico, you are wasting your time.” Curious, as the spokesperson had no idea what sort of service or connection I was currently using but Sympatico would be better. It was the thick East Indian accent spoken by this, and previous Bell telemarketers that triggered my recollection of a news article. These were not immigrants in search of gainful employment but rather, in an attempt to maximize profits, Bell had moved various operations from Canada to India. . Persistent and tenacious buggers these telemarketers are! My wife on a previous encounter with a Bell representative had politely tried to interrupt the spiel by interjecting “Excuse me, excuse me…” The Bell telemarketer hesitated, then blared out “you’re excused!” and hung up. That rude attitude alone had destroyed any further interest I may have had in dealing with Bell. Bell can try to appear patriotic by pasting ‘Canada’ after it’s name and by having those annoying rodents Frank and Gordon hawk their products on TV, but I’d prefer to support a company that at least tries to keep it’s jobs, and my monies paid, in Canada. Perhaps Frank and Gordon should also speak with an Indian dialect.
Thanks, but no sale!

4:15 pm - Direct energy: Or at least, from previous identical encounters, I think it was Direct Energy as the salesperson at our front door had an ID badge which looked purposely obscured. They did look “official” with that ID tag, cap and clipboard. The conversation started with their “request” to see our electrical energy bill. Say what? If you are from our current electrical supplier, our bill is on file and you have no need to see it at our door and if you are anyone else, you have no business seeing it or even asking me for this personal information. The attitude projected is not that of a polite suggestion but as an authorized request or demand. I’m sure this leaves a number of people confused and some no doubt comply. No, I am not switching to anything when approached by a door to door salesman.
With recent deregulation in various services, many new companies and providers have sprung up with offers of great savings and “lock in” protection from price increases and inflation. Although legal, the consumer has to be aware that if you sign on with a small independent provider and they do file for bankruptcy, you the consumer, may be considered, not as a customer but as a shareholder and find yourself responsible for a portion of their debt in a court of law. The price of any commodity such as gas, hydro, etc. is influenced by numerous factors and it is difficult to predict future pricing. If you commit to a long term contract you may not receive savings if the price drops. Alternatively, if the price increases substantially and the company’s clients prices are locked in, does anyone really believe that the provider will choose to honour it’s contracts at a loss? Will they “eat” the price increase or will it be more financially sound to fold and declare bankruptcy? Buyer beware!
Thanks, but no sale!

6:04 PM - “Doors & Windows”: Has there been an epidemic of vandalism in the Toronto GTA that I’m not aware of? Has technology increased so greatly that all present doors and windows are inefficient and obsolete? Daily!, and yes, sometimes several times a day, we get calls from telemarketers representing “Doors And Windows” sales. The industry must have come together and decided on this unified sales strategy. No other commodity here in Ontario is sold by phone with such persistence and vigour. No, “I live in an apartment“, “I don’t have any doors and windows“, “no, I just had them replaced!” How do you stop the aggressive person on the phone other than with a definitive answer? A polite “thank you, no” often doesn’t work and that response is frequently challenged by the question “why?” I do not owe them an answer! Do these telemarketers get paid by the number of calls made, the length of time they have a prospective client on the line, or by the number of sales obtained? Like dog poop stuck to your shoe, they are difficult to get rid of once initial contact is made.
Thanks, but no sale!

8:23 pm - “Your Ad Here”: Rrrrinnngggg! I can’t be sure who was on the other end of the phone line as there was an occasional muffled click but no one responded to my wife’s three “hellos”. From previous experiences, I suspect this was another telemarketing agency trying to maximize production by utilizing the latest technology. This new tool in the arsenal of home invasion works under the assumption that their time is more valuable that your own. An automatic dialler calls up several potential customers at a time. If a connection is made the dialler will either cue the telemarketer that a potential “sucker” is on the line or ask you, the call recipient, to wait while the telemarketing employee finishes up his last call. Yes!, they call you up and make you wait until convenient for them to begin the sales pitch! If caught, I would like to ask the telemarketer to wait for a second, then amble off to the fridge to make a sandwich. I wonder if they would still be waiting by the time I’ve wiped my mouth and returned to the phone?

*Adenum*

(1) June 22nd, 2007 - Rogers Communications: It took less than 24 hours for Roger’s Communications to invade my privacy with a second call. This time the phone call’s purpose was to try to sell us, well, phone service. Yesterday Bell Canada wanted us to switch from Roger’s as our internet service provider. Today the return volley in the communication war was fired by Roger’s, inviting us to switch our phone service from Bell to theirs. Communication wars with my living room the battleground!

(2) June 28th, 2007 - Bell Canada Again: My weekly call. Once again the thick east Indian accent attempted to persuade us to switch to Bell Sympatico. No last week, No this week, and No when they call next week! And so it goes......

(3) July 9th, 1007 - Poor reception, pixelization, and periodic loss of signal prompted us to call Roger's Communications to check our TV cable lines. No sooner than we had hung up the phone the TV went out all together. Not Roger's fault as it turns out a Bell Canada worker searching for our neighbour's phone line with a pick-axe had severed our cable line. My wife approached the Bell worker and informed him of the situation to which he gave reassurances that he would repair the line shortly. Hours later the tail end of his van could be seen speeding away home with our TV's blank stare still glaring at us. Next day Rogers informed us that our problem was due to the deteriorating infrastructure of the neighbourhood. Due to age and countless splices the signal strength was very low for all. The solution? To add another splice and wind cable wire up the trunk of our front yard tree then drape it across branches until it reaches the house where another temporary connection would bring back all that quality viewing we had been missing. Like trees T-papered after a frat party, our neighbourhood is inundated with temporary overhead wiring waiting for the day the communications mogul will open his wallet and upgrade the neighbourhood's infrastructure.

I wonder if Bell Canada will now approach us and cite Roger's cable interruption as a reason to switch television providers to Bell Expressvue? Idiots!

(4) July 24th, 2007 - Bell Canada on the phone again encouraging us to switch to Bell Sympatico for as our computer ISP.

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Some Thoughts On the Subject:

I can choose to buy a newspaper and read any advertisement that interest me. I can select which flyers in my mailbox warrant consideration. TV and radio ads may can be turned off if they fail to pique my interest. E-mail spam?, well, that unsolicited crap selling pills, porn and partnerships in Nigeria is unhesitatingly sent straight to the trash bin. The fax machine has long been turned off as I’ve learned my lesson in giving out my personal fax number to what I thought were legitimate businesses, only to find that the number has been sold to unscrupulous companies. Electronic whirring and beeping at 3:00 am announce their advertisement’s arrival on fax paper that I had purchased! Hard copy flyers delivered to my desk at my expense!

I suppose I can buy a “number display” option from my phone company and not pick up on numbers or names that I don’t recognize, however the phone companies gleefully rub their greedy hands together and sell these companies the technology to block their identification from being displayed on my unit. Clever, playing both sides of the street. I may be forced to screen calls with an answering machine.

Executives used to boast they were so important that they could be reached anywhere at any time and had all of the high tech gadgets to facilitate - wired! Now they say they are so important that they can get rid of all the intrusive devices and “can’t be reached”. The new status symbol.

Perhaps Jerry Seinfeld dealt with the situation best. On his hit TV show he answered his phone to a telemarketer. Saying that he was currently busy and unable to talk, Jerry asked for the salesperson’s home phone number and promised to call back when finished. The telemarketer refused to which Jerry replied “oh, you don’t want someone calling you at home and interrupting your free time either!” Priceless!

I have never really found myself angry at the telemarketers themselves as they are probably people of limited education attempting to make an honest living. It is the marketing practice that I abhor.

Held hostage by my own phone! Where is Canada’s “No Call” subscription list????!!!!

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*Update July 7th, 2007: The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission has just laid out rules for a nationwide “Do Not Call” Registry. In it’s supreme wisdom it has excluded registered charities, political parties, surveys, newspapers and companies that you have dealt with in the last 18 months from the restriction. These comprise a large percentage of the unwanted calls in our household. The Canadian government simply will not allow it’s citizens themselves to decide if they want ANY telemarketing intrusion into their homes and lives. Useless!!

*Update July 7th, 2007: An news article has revealed what was always suspected. Bell Canada, in it’s greed, sells all new installation/activated phone numbers directly to telemarketers for their dialing convenience. Now the owner of the newly built home can decide if he/she wants their newly installed doors and windows replaced…

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Dumb-Ass Commercial Of The Week Award

2007-05-29T09:30:00.022-05:00

Dumb-Ass Commercial - Award Of The Week

July 1st 2007
The field is so ripe for picking but my initial ‘Dumb-Ass’ Commercial award goes to the ‘Whiskas’ cat food products.

In one commercial the hapless homeowner stands in one room, drywall compound spatula in one hand, ‘Wiskas’ treats in the other. He demonstrates to his spouse how shaking the package causes the cat to burst through the walls from the adjacent room in a desperate attempt to reach the treat. Numerous holes and scattered debris result. Stop shaking the package when the cat is in the other room you moron!
Message: buying ‘Wiskas’ cat treats may damage your home.

In a second commercial a homey fellow on all fours rubs against his wife in hopes of getting his “succulent” ‘Wiskas’ wet meal. How does this submissive behaviour & demeaning begging hope to influence the consumer to purchase their product?
Message: none? - I think the fellow has a hair-ball!

The most brain deficient and insulting of them all is the husband, playing the cat, says “I’m a little busy here” as he defecates in the litterbox in the laundry room. The wife fans the odour from her nose with her hand as the husband/cat says “I’ll cover it up” . His foot stirs the litterbox contents before he joins his wife in an adjacent room where he playfully bats his hand/paw at a dangling light switch.
Message: I guess demeaning and degrading sells as long as it a male on the receiving end.

Just think. Somewhere an ad agency’s collective brain trust came up with these three “gems” and an equally intellectually challenged representative of the cat chow firm had to say “yeah, I like it! Let’s go with those ones”. Just what moronic group of cat owners is this company trying to reach?

August 21st, 2007
This weeks installment from the advertising brain trust comes from Kelloggs All-Bran Snack Bites. Perhaps it isn’t so surprising that these dry morsels are almost indistinguishable in appearance from the Whiskas Cat Treats mentioned above. In an attempt to influence the TV audience to purchase this product, they present an office worker happily espousing the wondrous taste of these squares of packed saw-dust. As he does so, each unbelieving colleague he encounters just happens to be drinking some fluid. His comment of “it tastes great” is so outrageous that they spit, blow and spray all the mucous laden fluid of their mouths all about the room in disbelief.
Message?? Don’t eat Kelloggs All-Bran Snack Bites unless you wish to get sprayed with the oral contents of your colleagues and perhaps picking up tuberculosis or some other air-borne disease in the process. Yummmmm!!!!

August 25th, 2007
Dumb-ass commercial of the week;
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhoea. These series of commercials give me at least three of the six. Just when they retired the group of scuzzy rappers chanting the annoying ditty, they replace it with a bunch of super-sized mythical figures in gastronomic distress. The scariest moment comes when Aphrodite, Athena or whatever 60 foot robed female purses her lips and clenches her butt, ready to shower the hapless inhabitants below with projectile diarrhoea. Perhaps having saved the town from being “wiped out” (no pun intended) with their intestinal contents, the advertising agency has decided to shift gears with the current advertisement. Just as dumb, they have some dried up prune of a babushka dancing in front of a ‘blue screen’ while gumming the same line in some unrecognizable accent. How is this old crone’s pathetic audition suppose to convince me to sample their product? Duhh! Get me an Alka-Seltzer!
March 2008 Update: Kudos to Pepto-Bismol for their latest installment as they no doubt have encouraged not only societies mentally deficient to perform in their 'open audition' commercials, but also those who have failed their 'English as a Second Language' course. A robust goateed fellow proudly hold up the pink bottle and shouts "Bismoooohhhhhhh". Has me sold!
April 2008 Update: Pepto must figure it has a real winning sales formula with this 'blue screen open auditions' advertisement. This months idiot is a demented bearded fellow that bears a striking resemblance to Rasputin. This character bounces and gyrates while 'speaking in tongues', finally shouting Bismol! Say, wasn't Rasputin poisoned by drinking some unspecified libation? Hmmmmm?

Sept. 8th, 2007
This advertisement ran some time ago but has been resurrected in an attempt to grab your dollar. Employing the concept of "If you can't convince them, then confuse them" Vichy Laboratories Skin Care rhymes off a variety of disagreeable skin conditions such as wrinkles, blotches, etc and then makes the frightening medical diagnosis that these problems are cause by "Epidermal Disorganization". Epi-what?? Your skin is disorganized?? Scrambled? Askew? - Well to organize it and put it back in order, just buy their product. Invent an impressive sounding condition and then cure it.
These questionable ads give me a queezy stomach. My stomach must be disorganized as well. Maybe I need some Pepto-Bismol?

Sept. 11th, 2007
"You don't drive like her -why should you pay insurance rates like her". The Greypower sales pitch rattles off as you watch a woman with obvious mental instability in the throws of road rage have a melt down at a stop sign. (...and it has been said that the shortest period of time ever measured was when a stoplight turned green and the guy behind honked his horn).

It is not so much the message conveyed by the advertisement that is annoying but rather that it is played over and over and over and over and over and over and over on numerous Canadian networks and affiliates. I turn the channel and find the same annoying commercial on another station at a different point. For heavens sake Greypower, Pygmies in equatorial rain forests have gotten your message. If I didn't sign with you 5 minutes ago, I won't be signing now nor in 5 more minutes time. Shoving those commercials down the viewer's throats is not how to sell a product or service. Just think how much more money could be saved by the consumer if the advertisements were spaced out in a dignified and less annoying timetable.

Sept. 17th, 2007
Wendy's, world famous for peddling fast food and perhaps that's why so many starving artists/actors are willing to don red wigs to look like idiots, degrading themselves in hopes of being tossed a burger. Whether it is the red haired doofus hawking the "baconator" to crowds of paper-faced cutouts, the putz of a cop chasing the hapless (and tasteless) chicken driving a car or more recently the red wigged black geek inhaling helium with coworkers floating to the office ceiling. Now another black doofus is chatting to his idiotic white coworker who holds a burger that sings an 'Air Supply' song! Doesn't entertain, doesn't inform, doesn't sell!!! They all look like asses and do very little in convincing me to sample their items. I'm embarrassed for them because they ad agency is too stupid to be embarrassed for themselves. Dave Thomas must be rolling in his grave!

Oct. 4th, 2007
Probably the least offensive of the bunch but it certainly had me scratching my head. 'The Brick', Canadian furniture & appliance mega-retailer has once again brought back their "Midnight Madness" sale. It just got me wondering why I should shop at a store which promotes mental instability as a sales incentive?

Oct. 25th, 2007
Dumb-ass Commercial of this Week
For those of you who have Much Music on Cable TV, you must have come across a commercial with teen sitting in a baby crib planning some event with a buddy when his mom busts in with “I’m not paying for that!”. This switches to same kid now in a high-chair with his mom keyboarding on a computer. “You’re not buying that awful rap music, are you?” clearly unhappy with the prospect of lending her son money due to his irresponsible spending habits. He responds with “I’m not a baby mom!”

Solution? Get a Much More Music Prepaid Mastercard!

The implication is that all your money problems will be solved once you "become a man" and sign up with the MMM Prepaid Mastercard.
But here is the conundrum. As the kid has no money and relies on his mother for funds and said mother is reluctant to give the kid money, who is going to load his MMM Prepaid Mastercard with money???
Catch 22! If he had money he wouldn’t need the MMM Prepaid Mastercard, and if he gets the MMM Prepaid Mastercard, where is he going to get the money to load the card before a shopping spree? If mom refuses to give him cold hard cash, she would no doubt be equal reluctant to load his card with the same monetary value. Yet, thanks to Mastercard, financial freedom is just that simple.
D'oh!!! not Dough...

March 26th, 2008: Mr Clean has teamed up with Fabreze and manufactured a cleanser so aromatic and pleasant to the olfactory senses that it has one fool on all fours crawling along the kitchen floor with his nose sniffing the tiles as if there were a line of cocaine cut on the surface. Even more offensive is the little scank sniffing the bathroom fixtures in almost orgasmic delight. Wouldn't even be more exhilarating to spray the cleanser directly up the nostrils?
Do these commercials actually appeal to anyone?

Update - Fabreze's latest ad has Granny stepping into the kid's home only to go into some sort of stupor, pushing aside the grand kids as she sniffs the air in some state of ecstasy only to drop to all fours and stick her nose into an old pair of sneakers, inhaling the Fabreze in a state of rapture.
Sorry folks, I think it's time to put granny into a home!

May 18th, 2008: This month automobile ads take dumbass commercial awards! We have multiple winners! The target audience seems to be idiots as these current offerings seem to be directed directly at those mentally challenged who would no doubt become hypnotically fascinated by some shiny object dangled in front of them. It surprises me that people who would be sold by such pap have enough gray matter to actually hold a job and earn enough to purchase the car.
The first, although an ad for a Nissan Versa, is really more of an advertisement for the ad agency itself. Great technique but no message. It has a car full of boneheads pull up in city traffic and proceed to make the car bounce through gridlocked traffic like a rubber ball! The airborne car bounces up and down off of buildings and other vehicles to finally come to rest further down the traffic jam. And what message does this $250K+ advertisement wish to convey?

Nissan Versa - Fun

Nothing about gas mileage, nothing about safety rating, number of airbags, powertrain warranty, etc............But, it is fun if your idea of fun is bouncing off of oncoming traffic....

The joint dumbass commercial award goes to Hyundai Accent for, not one but two offerings. Again, no attempt to inform the buying public about the car's features but rather lame attempts to get some gaffaws from those idiots swayed by such pap. The first has two fellows approaching an Accent on a rooftop garage. One fellow asks the other if he can drive his Accent. With a perplexed look on his face the Accent owner throws the car keys from the garage roof to the city below. He then tells his friend that he can't find his keys. Ahhhh, wouldn't it be easier to just say no??? I guess they couldn't pass up the belly laughs this ad repeatedly delivers.

The second commercial has two fellows approaching an Accent from opposite directions. The first, obviously well off as he is dressed in a tuxedo, asks the casually dressed owner of the Accent if he could spend one night with the Accent for One Million Dollars. The owner hesitates for only a second before replying No. Who is the biggest fool, the rich idiot who offers a million for a few hours with an $18K car, or the fool owner who turns down the offer even though $1,000,000 would buy over 50 new Accents. The message they convey?

Only idiots buy Hyundai Accents!

I just don't get it!!!

***I thank the commenter who suggested that I didn't understand the parody between the commercial and the motion picture 'Indecent Proposal'. Oh, I understand what they attempted yet failed to do. In the film an offer of $1M is offered for a night with another man's wife. It might well be argued that a beautiful, intelligent and desirable woman might be worth $1M for an evening (Priceless, I would say), clearly someone offering and another turning down $1M for a car with a sticker price of about $29,000 shows the lack of intelligence of both parties. A walk to the nearest Hyundai dealership could buy either of them about 30 new Hyundais. I still maintain Hyundai promotes their car using two idiots who don't know the value of the dollar.

July 10th, 2008: Whatever the highly caffinated Billy Mays is selling, I'm not buying. I never pay attention to the product 'ol Billy is hawking because I'm so mesmerized by that fur on his face! He has such a dense pelt covering every inch from his nose to his neck that fur bearing animals are jealous and trappers are drooling with envy. Billy, try selling some shave cream!

Perhaps Billy should shout louder to get my attention!!!

July 24th, 2008: Enzyte, the male enhancement product which is being hawked on television by the grinning fool 'Enzyte Bob'. Bob permanently looks like he's in mid-orgasm and probably should get to a hospital as doctors advise seeking medical attention if an erection lasts more than 4 hours. But the real question is why does Bob have that permanent silly grin on his face? Well, it's obvious. In having such hugmongous erection, the extra skin needed to cover the organ has to come from somewhere. Pulls everything down - nipples are probably on either side of the navel.

August 8th, 2008: Okay, Charmin bathroom tissue promotes their 'Extra Strong' tissue by basically stating that this product is for those who don't like toilet paper confetti stuck to their butt. If their 'Extra Strong' product doesn't leave wads of paper clinging to your derrière, then what about Charmin's Regular 'Soft' bathroom tissue. If it leaves a 'paper trail' then it is not much better than their competitor's product. If it doesn't, then why do you need an 'Extra-Strong' product that specifically claims it doesn't?? Seems to me that this is another example of the "if you can't convince them, confuse them"philosophy. Just another choice that you're told you absolutely NEED!. Buy, Buy Buy...
Those Charmin bears were cute for a while but after viewing their antics for the millionth time, I'd like to get a large caliber rifle and dispatch them!

December 26th, 2008: Super Seven Lotto - Several commercials showing how you could waste your money if you were to beat those astronomical odds and actually win. The one that has me shaking my head is where this homely dude is at a jewelers and buys a big, huge, honking diamond necklace for.......?....for his dog!!!!! This same mutt probably drank out of the toilet a few hours before yet this adoring idiot is rewarding the 'leg humper' with some humongous 'Harry Winston' diamond necklass!!! Their motto is "Super Seven Lotto - Because you can!!!" No, "Because you're an idiot!!!"

June 2009: Cesar Dog Food - Just how expensive is this gourmet dog food?...or is it that this dog, Maggot, is just so finicky that it won't eat other brands of ground up cattle, chicken beaks & feet and entrails??
You see, every time there is a new commercial for Cesar dog food, I see Maggot has a new owner. Has this dog eaten it's previous owners out of house and home???

August 2009: Realize Gastric Band - You'd think that your doctor might be the first to suggest this solution after careful consideration and analysis. You'd think that perhaps diet magazines might reach the appropriate demographic. You'd think that obesity clinics might have literature on this procedure. Perhaps they do....but for this very specialized, highly invasive, 'last resort' procedure, - they hawk the product on TV just like MacDonald's pushes their Big Macs!! Granted, North Americans have managed to 'supersize' themselves in the last few decades, but still to push this surgical intervention on mainstream TV as your solution to your increased girth, as if it were a commonplace solution? "Come on Doc, slap one on 'cause my thong has gotten tight!"
Trying to watch some afternoon TV and the 'Realize' ad comes up repeatedly during the same one hour show and through much of the afternoon. Really, do that many people come running to thier doctors for one of these "belly belts" to justify the expense of producing a commercial and purchasing vast quantities of air time? Are fatties now knocking at docs door insisting on a 'Realize Gastric Band'?

Hawking this medical device like hamburgers just cheapens the message and product....

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Prejudice (Part 1)

2007-04-20T00:17:00.000-05:00

Prejudice (Part 1)

Lack of sensitivity? Prejudice or Hate? Political correctiveness gone mad? Too much time on people’s hands? Or are Canadians just too accommodating? What is it??

Years ago level headed people, through their government, realized that good people different than themselves, often faced discrimination and persecution because they differed in heritage or were of a visible minority. Intolerance and persecution were deemed unacceptable so efforts were made to assist their integration into our society. One of the tactics, already in use, was that of the uniform.

The obvious purpose of the uniform is to identify to the public a homogeneous group of people with a common function. Police, firefighters, ambulance attendants, military, etc. all are issued uniforms so that the public would readily identify them as belonging to a certain group. An equally important secondary purpose of the uniform was to make all those within the group equal.

Regardless of one’s skin colour, heritage, country of origin, disability etc., wearing a uniform informed the group members themselves and public alike that all who donned that uniform were equal in status, ability and performance.. This was done to promote equality.

The uniform has served its purpose well for millenium however now it seems that those who were promoted as equal under the uniform, are no longer satisfied with that status, After years of upholding tradition and the promotion of equality, some individuals now find a common uniform unacceptable. Heritage of their homeland supersedes integration into the Canadian society which they chose to escape to and now wish their new homeland to bend to their will. In essence they insist on modifying the uniform to reflect their heritage. Perhaps they believe that they are more equal than others.

One of the most visible modifications has been made by those of the Sikh religion in their petitioning the government and being granted the right to wear turbans on police duty. Some may argue that in this diverse mosaic of society that Canada has, this modification endears the police officer to that particular ethnic community. This might be an acceptable argument if only Sikh police officers were sent to Sikh neighbourhoods, however this is not a realistic scenario. Obviously a response to a call should be by the officer closest to the scene and not dependent on finding a police officer of that particular ethnic community. I believe that as Canadian citizens, a Canadian police officer should respond regardless of their religion or heritage Respect for the uniform should be satisfactory and all that is necessary to anyone requesting assistance. Once we start subdividing our professional services by modifications to their individual uniforms we are introducing racism and prejudice and destroying equality.

Where does it all end? Should those of Scottish heritage employed as fire fighters be allowed to wear kilts on duty? From extension ladders they can salute their heritage while their bare behinds salute the spectators below. Should females in the armed forces be allowed to wear hijabs? (1) Then what about safety issues where an east Indian construction worker may invoke the Canadian Charter of Rights for justification in wearing a turban on a work site? Should freedom of religion supersede safety and allow replacement of a hardhat with a turban?

On a civilian level, should a Muslim woman be allowed to hide her identity under a burka (2) when photographed for a driver’s license?

It is true that Canada was founded by both the English and French and was improved upon by welcoming people from all nations and religions to integrate and become Canadians. Unlike the “Melting Pot” of the United States where all immigrants are proud to call themselves American, we in Canada have developed a “Mosaic” where immigrants have come to this country and settled themselves in sporadic pockets. Rather than say, proud American-Italians, in this country often we find rather reluctant Italian-Canadians. It is rather sad that in these isolated communities, some feel it unnecessary to learn the language, bring their homeland’s prejudices and problems with them and feel reluctant to integrate into Canadian society.
Canadians in general are far too accommodating and bend over backwards to make immigrants and refugees comfortable at the expense of this country’s long entrenched customs and heritage.

From my name it is obvious that I too have a heritage elsewhere. I am the first generation Canadian of refugee parents however, there is no question as to where our loyalties lie as we are proud Canadians first, foremost, and always.

Loyalty to one’s adopted country does not mean that you have to discard your heritage. By all means, diversity is encouraged in Canada and enriched by it. A family’s heritage should be embraced, celebrated and passed on to future generations but if one has come to Canada (or any other country for that matter) every attempt should be made foremost to adopt the values of their new homeland and not force their adopted country to adapt to themselves..

An immigrant may leave their homeland for a variety of reasons however the core decision is invariably that they wish to find a better way of life for themselves and their families. To come to Canada and then to try to restructure it to resemble their homeland defeats the original purpose.

Those individuals who apply for a particular job or profession should be aware of expected behavior and any dress codes prior to accepting employment. If not acceptable, they should decline the employment offer, not try to modify it after being hired.

If you chose to come to Canada, become a Canadian. If you immigrate to America, become an American.
…..and if I settle in your country, I will honour and respect your rules, traditions and heritage without asking you to change to accommodate me.

Ethnic examples are not intended to slight or demean those of that heritage. There, as a Canadian I too am bending over backwards not to offend anyone.

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(1) Hijab - A headscarf worn by Muslim women; conceals the hair and neck and usually has a face veil that covers the face.
(2) Burka - A loose garment (usually with veiled holes for the eyes) worn by Muslim women especially in India and Pakistan.

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I Object To Everything!!!

2007-02-10T10:33:00.000-05:00

(Advertising, Political Correctness and Freedom of Speech/Expression)

Well, the world really is going to hell in a hand basket! Oh! Damn!, I shouldn’t say hell, it may offend someone. Hand basket? Well that is what a woman might carry. Woman? Oh God, I’m sexist!

How ‘bout - Two nondenominational, non gender specific persons of undetermined age walk into a vegetarian establishment, unlicensed to serve alcoholic beverages and order two decaffeinated generic brand libations. The first asks the other, “Why did the unspecified poultry cross the road?” To get to the other side. LOL!

But that won’t work either as animal rights activists would complain that ‘poultry’ refers to a living creature and its rights were obviously violated as it may have been forced into an action it did not wish to engage in. Get my drift?

I, like millions of other North Americans tuned in to watch the Superbowl last weekend and sadly wondered what sort of controversy would arise this year. It is, after all inevitable and the crazy world didn’t disappoint. We live in a society that is allowed and even encouraged to run amok with intolerance and political correctness ironically in an attempt to uphold tolerance and understanding.

It didn’t take long before all the politically correct, self appointed defenders of good taste and special interest groups to raise their collective whiny voices denouncing anything which they feel offends them in some distant and obtuse way. Thank God (unless you are agnostic or an atheist) that this bastion of social correctness and good taste was there to point out the evils to the Superbowl audience. I would never have known otherwise.

Recall a previous Superbowl where the public lit up the phones of network affiliates after Janet Jackson had her infamous “wardrobe malfunction?” Little old ladies grimaced in agony. Women’s rights groups were either for the liberation, or felt exploited. Fathers claimed they had to make a flying tackles across the living room in order to cover their son’s eyes so they wouldn’t see the horror of Janet’s breast. Unknown to me, the world was on the verge of ending. In the event the non-sport loving public did not view this outrage, it was shown over and over again on the nightly news, and for days thereafter. Still missed what the fuss was about? Well, the stations replayed it again, frame by frame with arrows pointing to the protruding offence. Squinting, I still couldn’t see. Apologies, interviews and prime time discussions followed providing priceless promotion and advertising for who?…Janet

Nobody seems to learn, or perhaps, they learn very well indeed. This year’s controversy started with Prince’s half time romp on stage with his signature guitar sporting an unusually large lower horn. Magnified behind a back lit, wind buffeted screen, some self appointed guardians of decency believed the illusion generated was that of Prince sporting a humongous phallus. Regardless of what image is presented for his paying fans at his performances, this presentation was very innocuous. It seems to me what is often seen as vulgar is often in the eye of the viewer and says more about the mind of those offended than that of the performance itself.

The ‘mind police’ were not yet through. It was now the special interest groups turn. First came the Snicker’s advertisement depicting two mechanics working under the hood of a car when one bites into and holds a Snickers chocolate bar between his teeth as he continues his repair, The second fellow working face to face with the first feels the pangs of hunger as well. He can‘t resist the enticing end of the chocolate hanging before him. Parodying a scene from Disney’s ‘Lady and the Tramp’, he chomps down on protruding end. As both eat their way towards center, their lips touch in an awkward pseudo kiss. Horrified, these two “straight” men feel it imperative that they do something manly to reaffirm that they aren't gay. They decide that they must pull out some chest hair where braving the pain would reaffirm their masculinity.
As a straight male, I found the ad somewhat comical. I’m certainly not offended by those of a gay persuasion or of the attempts of these two characters attempting to restate their heterosexuality.
Well, it appears organizations such as The Human Rights Campaign and the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) feel slighted but I cannot figure out for what reason. How can two men engaging in a kiss on screen, even if unintended, offend the Gays. Is it that they have to prove that they are not of that persuasion that offends the Gays? So it is okay for homosexuals to be represented on screen but reaffirming one’s heterosexuality is not? Homosexuality good, Heterosexuality bad? I would have thought that men of both sexual orientations would have had a laugh and perhaps been even more accepting of each other having viewed this commercial. Stupid me - I just don’t get it!

Wait, there’s more!
Now the mental health agencies are going nuts over the GM robot commercial. (can I say nuts when talking about mental health practitioners? ) This Superbowl commercial has an army of well choreographed robots diligently assembling cars until one sad (by sad I do not imply mental instability) robot drops a nut (not to be confused with going nuts). As the other robots stop and look on, the floor manager fires the dejected incompetant robot .

This disgraced tool motors out of the plant and tries it’s luck at various other jobs until it becomes so depressed that it drives itself over to a bridge and drops off into the river below. Cute, huh? No, Suicide, and it’s no laughing matter to the minions running the local “funny farm”. A mechanical machine committing suicide? Do they not know that a robot is made of nuts and bolts? (there is that word “nuts” again!) Does anyone really feel that this commercial is ridiculing suicide or that it will encourage today’s impressionable young people to chose suicide as a solution to life’s problems? Will National Geographic be restricted in showing lemmings following each other over a cliff to their deaths as it might cue some unstable person to do the same? Give the human race some credit. Again, I don’t get it - I must be crazy!

The television audience continues to applaud ’The Sopranos’ as Tony has yet another Goomba whacked. WWE and The Ultimate Fighter draw legions of fans wanting to see two idiots without brains trying to smash the others scull open to prove that very point. I don’t hear the outcry over these mainstream productions but a robot dropping off a bridge? Now that’s offensive.

What ever happened to free expression and free speech.? Absolute hate should never be condoned but the large transition zone of tolerance has given way to the stark and abrupt line that when marginally transgressed elicits outrage and anger. We can no longer open our mouths to express any opinion as our words, no matter how well chosen, will no doubt offend someone.

I just don’t get it!

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*Updates: Recently an advertisement on Toronto television promotes the "hitting" talent of a Blue Jay's slugger Frank Thomas by showing him whacking his kid with a pillow during a bedtime pillow fight. Viewers took exception crying the act depicted violence directed against children. Sssshhheeeshh!!

I discovered that Crayola crayons were petitioned to change the name of their "Flesh" coloured crayon to "Peach" as the light pink colour offended those races of different skin tones. "Indian Red" had to be renamed as well as either (or both?) east Indians or native American indians objected to the reference. The colour actually referred to the red coloured clay found in the country of India.

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Violence In The Media

2007-02-09T10:50:00.000-05:00

Violence in the Media (Entertainment By Death and Destruction)

A prude. A pussy. A timid little wuss. Perhaps called a pacifist from those most kind. I guess that is what I will be labeled. I have no anticipation in being called “a man” or being described as “macho”.

Caped and painted fools body slammed in WWE wrestling matches don’t entertain me. I don’t understand ‘Ultimate Fighter’ where two brainless idiots try to smash each other’s sculls open to prove that very fact. Video games such as ‘Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ which glorify crime, violence and rape have no appeal to me whatsoever. I couldn’t care less about Tony Soprano and his whacking goombas, and why would I give away my hard earned pay to view ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’?

Explain it to me, what am I missing?
(I get my adrenaline rush through living)

What I don’t understand is why so much of Western society finds enjoyable entertainment interacting with or viewing graphic violence depicting torture, rape, dismemberment and death. We glorify criminals and ridicule traditional moral family values.

On film as in games, viewers are no longer satisfied with the artistic horror of Alfred Hitchcock’s shower scene in ‘Psycho’. The audience now demands high body counts with grinning psychos, chainsaw in hand, admiring a freshly severed limb with protruding arteries, like pulsating spaghetti, spewing blood onto the lens.

What in our psyche compels some of us, not only to identify with, but cheer on murderous psychos? Yet we would be reduced to a trembling mass of tears if such acts were perpetrated against our own families. How do we separate the two and justify this dichotomy? Is it only “just a game“?, just mindless entertainment? (I wonder how the parents of the massacred Columbine High School students feel about the Columbine Video Game?)

We also have a fascination with serial killers. The shear number of movies glorifying mass murderers supports this fact. We know their names, their reputations, their biographies yet how many of us outside of friends and family can name even one of their victims? In the end these murderers have obtained the eternal notoriety they so craved, yet the innocent victims of these barbarians are forgotten within days. Our values are misplaced.

Names such as David Berkowicz (aka Son of Sam), Dennis Rader (aka the BTK killer), Richard Ramirez (aka the Night Stalker), Eileen Wuronos, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Paul and Karla Bernardo, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, The Hillside Strangler, The Green River Killer and even Jack the Ripper lurk in the dark recesses of our memory.

The List Goes on….

Hollywood, quick to jump on any slimy dime, has immortalized many of these demons on film and the reason they continue to do so is because of our morbid curiosity and willingness to support their efforts with our cash.

I have always found it humorous that our society cringes at the sight of two consenting adults making love on television yet mindless, graphic violence has become the norm and their popularity has been rewarded with prime time slots. Really, which is truly the more offensive act?

For those not wishing to view these offerings, warnings and disclaimers at the beginning of graphic shows are well intentioned but can be missed if tuned to while the show is “in progress”. It boggles the mind that the slapstick pratfalls and gentle humoristic violence depicted in any episode of ’The Three Stooges’ is now preceded by the same warning for the dismembering, disemboweling and disgusting “Saw”.

Many of our forefathers bore witness to, and far too often succumbed to the real horrors of death and destruction while fighting for our freedoms in innumerable wars. As I truly treasure this hard won democracy, I also value our freedom of speech and expression. Counter to this freedom is censorship. Neither should be abused. I would be the last to advocate laws banning the various entertainment products I mention, however I would support the freedom to express “good taste” and personal censorship by individuals refusing to buy these products. I am not going to hold my breath……

Can trends between Eastern and Western violence be explained? Some may argue that Eastern society acts out its violence daily through terrorism whereas Western society simply views contrived violence as a form of entertainment. Reading our local daily newspapers reveals that this theory is not so clear cut.

(Aside, it is puzzling that third world countries which cannot raise enough food to feed their young, yet have a never ending supply of high tech armaments and the ammunition to feed their weapons.)

It is rather ironic that these violent forms of entertainment are labeled as “For Mature Audiences Only” as I cannot find anything mature about the content nor target audience whatsoever.

Only if a psychological study reveals that watching violence doesn’t desensitize the viewer to violent behavior but rather serves as a benign release for pent up stress and aggression would I endorse these games and movies.

In the meantime, I will remain a meek, peace loving, non-violent sissy.

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Prejudice (Part 2) - I Object To Everything (Part 2)

2007-02-08T22:28:00.001-05:00

Prejudice (Part 2)
Or I Object To Everything (Part 2)

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Pushing the bounds of Silliness

In recent years there have been growing rumblings from our native communities (Native-Canadian and Native-American alike) about a general display of disrespect and prejudice perpetrated against them by the wicked white society.

It seems that these Natives (for the sake of brevity, no disrespect intended) have taken great offense about the wide use of names and titles which make reference to Native themes or Natives themselves.

Take for example The Washington Redskins, the Atlanta Braves, the Cleveland Indians, Chicago Blackhawks, Edmonton Eskimos and Mississauga Tomahawks.

Other descriptive terms which have been used are Warriors, Moccasins, Mohawks, Aztecs, Redmen, Savages, Scouts, Seminoles, Squaws, Tecumseh, Scouts, Chiefs and Chieftains.

This appears to me to be another case of silliness foisted upon society when much more serious issues beg for attention. Are Native North-Americans really that insecure and sensitive?

We must ask, was there truly the intention to disrespect Native Americans by naming sport teams after them or was it simply to identify with the admirable qualities of aggressiveness, perseverance and determination. Some caricatures of team logos or mascots may be comical but then again what group in society has not experienced some good natured ribbing. Just look at the fans (short form of fanatical) that attend these sporting events with painted faces, beverage toting headgear and foam fingers. Should this behavior be banned because it ridicules the average North American male? Perhaps it offends me. Should painted faces be forbidden as it may be perceived as “war paint” thereby mocking Native-North Americans? How far do we take this nonsense?

Native-North Americans, as equal members of the North American mosaic, should take all of this “with a grain of salt” and know we are laughing at our collective selves and not at them in particular.

Let me put forward this thought: If some time in the past, governments passed a law forbidding the use of Native-American references on sports teams or other commercial ventures, would not these same Native-Americans be crying prejudice? “Why do you not use our names and images? - are we not good enough?” Lawsuits and petitions would no doubt have followed in a bid to attain equality.

My advice to the Native-North Americans and any other analogous groups of people, is to “lighten up” and take the compliment in the spirit in which it was given.

Native-American heritage and language has provided interesting place names in both the United States and Canada. Although many names have been “westernized” we are richer for the lyrical qualities and colourful images these names provide. Can this hijacking of Native names constitute “abuse” of the Native-American language or be perceived “bastardized” by some? Will someone misguided individual claim that our white society has no right to use native names, (as with native images), and that we should cease and desist? The name ‘Canada’ itself comes from the Wendat Huron word meaning “village” or “settlement”. Perhaps we should consider an apology as we rename our country. Ridiculous right?

Just a very few examples of American States named with Native influence are:
Massachusetts - from Massachusett tribe of Native Americans, meaning “at or about the great hill”.
Michigan - from the “Indian” word “Michigana” meaning “great or large lake”.
Mississippi - From an “Indian” word meaning “Father of Waters”.

A few of many Canadian examples:
Ontario - Derived from the Huron word onitariio meaning “sparkling“ or “beautiful“ water or kanadario meaning "beautiful lake".
Ottawa - from the Algonquin word meaning “to buy” (political capital - how appropriate!)
Toronto - from the Huron word meaning “Place of Meeting”.

Native-North American names and images are a well respected and intricate part of our countries. Early in the American invasion of Iraq an unfortunate incident occurred where Sadam’s soldiers ambushed an American supply line. In the process, a young Native-American soldier lost her life. In remembrance of Pfc. Lori Piestewa a Hopi Indian from Tuba City Arizona, a mountain known as “Squaw Peak” in north-central Phoenix was renamed Piestewa Peak. I had to wonder if local tribes had any issues with what might be perceived as a demeaning sexist and racist historical name for the mountain in question? Could the renaming of what in essence was a very large pile of rocks and dirt after Lori be taken as an insult? Would her name be equated with “mud” or does her name become part of “Mother Earth”? The same gesture might be perceived two ways depending on the mindset of the observer.

It is my belief that sports teams wish to be identified with winners, that native names have enriched our vocabulary and landscape and that Pfc. Lori Piestewa’s two children will grow up in the shadow of a monument honouring there mother that was built by God.

Let’s not make mountains out of, well, mountains……

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*Addition: Crayola crayons was petitioned to rename the colour "Indian Red" as it offended either east Indians or north American indians (or both). The colour in fact refered to the red clay soil which can be found in the country of India.

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Lightfoot & Lightbulbs

2007-02-08T13:55:00.000-05:00

Lightfoot & Lightbulbs

All of my friends know I have been a rabid Gordon Lightfoot fan since the late 1960s. His wonderful tunes of lonely journeys, wilderness landscapes and lost loves has always served as the soundtrack of my life.

Years ago I was pleased to discover that there was a Lightfoot internet community of equally obsessed fans scattered throughout the world. Here we "Lightheads" could gather to discuss all things related to our idol. Through the years a ritual had developed where those able would make the annual pilgrimage to Toronto's Massey Hall. We would book blocks of rooms at the Toronto Delta Chelsea Hotel in order to meet, share stories, take part in trivia contests, travel room to room having guitar jam sessions and ultimately take in as many of his concerts as the pocketbook would allow. I have met a wide variety of people through the Lightfoot group all of whom I am happy to describe as friends. I found tremendous support from my fellow Lightheads during my 2006 Hospital ordeal and even received a treasured 'Get Well' card signed by Gordon and all of his band.

I had fun with one submission to the Lightfoot internet group which I entitled 'Analogies'.

Analogies:

Most of the population listens to generic music.

I, like many others fell in love with music during the psychedelic era in the 60's.

We 'Lightheads' come in all shapes and sizes, some brighter than others, but all contributing "illuminating" tales and observations.

When Gord and the boys finish their encore, we all give him a standing ovation.

Let’s all pray that Gord's career continues to be long and colourful!!!

We certainly have a fun time there.......

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My Meeting with Gordon Lightfoot Backstage at Massey Hall

Gordon Lightfoot & His Band At Massey Hall
November 2006

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University Of Western Ontario - Winter 1978

2007-02-08T00:18:00.000-05:00

University of Western Ontario, London Ontario
Winter of 1978 - Church Rectory House

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As a science student at The University of Western Ontario, I was delighted when offered the use of the ground floor of a church rectory for very modest rent. To show my appreciation, I took it upon myself to shovel the snow from the walks and driveway so that the church choir could practice in the basement.. One particularly blustery winter day I was ready to concede defeat to the blizzard when I noticed a pickup truck drive by, reverse and enter the drive. Lowering his plow blade, the driver cleared out the entire parking lot in just a few passes. I was confused as the cab window opened and the cheerful driver shouted out “there you go Father!” Noticing my black T-shirt under my coat, the driver had mistaken me for a priest. I could only chuckle as he pulled out and shout back “bless you my son”. Every storm thereafter I was sure to wear my black T-shirt in hopes of a repeat performance and will be forever grateful to the church and the unknown stranger that made my day.

(Published February 2007, 'The Toronto Star' - 'Acts of Kindness')

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Church With House In Background

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The University of Western Ontario

2007-02-07T12:45:00.000-05:00

The University of Western Ontario - London, Ontario
(Recruitment)

I had passed all the hurdles. I had survived the peer pressure. I had made numerous friends. But this chapter of my life was about to close while another had yet to be opened..

The year was 1972. I entered the auditorium at Ancaster High & Vocational School (AHVS) with my boisterous friends, jostling for position on the folding wooden seats provided. Just another assembly I thought, although this one was to determine the path on which I would travel in the upcoming years. The high school had invited representatives of various universities to talk about their institution of higher learning and offer incentives to choose their facility over the others competing for your education dollar.

I no longer recall the universities represented as their spokespersons came up, one after the other, to pitch the wonders their campus had to offer. We were enticed with slide shows of swimming pools and cheerleaders rooting their sports teams on to victory. Libraries, student housing, cafeterias and even the curricula itself was flaunted. A multitude of carrots were dangled before us as applications were circulated at the conclusion of each sales pitch. The incentives were dazzling an overwhelming.

Then there was the representative from The University of Western Ontario (UWO). This fellow sauntered up on stage and adjusted the microphone on the podium. In contrast to the others, he was dressed rather casually, yet neatly, exuding a relaxed yet confident attitude. He began with a general outline of the location and history of UWO. Continuing, he slowly drawled “yeah, we have all that too - the stadiums, the libraries the student centers, pools, tennis & squash courts, cafeterias and residences”. Then he grasped my attention and shook it back to wakefulness. He leaned in closer to the microphone and said “If you don’t want to be part of the university community, if you don’t want to contribute to the university AND the city of London, we don’t want you”.

All the other speakers were stressing why I should choose their university and yet here was the only one telling us why we shouldn’t, or at least who shouldn’t consider Western. I was intrigued and captivated!

After further study, comparisons and consideration, it was this fellow’s presentation that stuck with me and helped me make my choice. I sent my application off to The University of Western Ontario and hoped that they would find me an acceptable member of their academic family.

I remember personally meeting with the registrar, a Mr. Wilgar, as he shook my hand, looked me in the eyes and said “Welcome to Western”. My joy that day was minute in comparison to that encountered from my years at Western.

I spent four absolutely marvelous years at UWO enjoying many of the incentives the other speakers offered a few years previous. Although I am not all that outgoing of a person, I did take part in both campus and community events and hope that in some small way I upheld the conviction and principles that Western demanded.

As an alumnus, I do not have to look back some 28 years to remember my years at Western. The spirit, conviction, education and memories are with me on a daily basis.

I have no doubt there are many fine universities throughout Ontario and Canada as I have met and worked with many of their alumni. However for those struggling to decide where to pursue their post secondary school education, I have to recommend you consider The University of Western Ontario as the education, campus life and city of London itself, are second to none.

But don’t apply unless you are willing to give something back and make the university and town a better place!

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University Collage

Middlesex Collage

Aerial View of Campus

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I have no idea where the years have gone as my years at Western seem to have been enjoyed only yesterday. In the blink of an eye, I find myself here in 2007. I have to remember that when attending the university I did computations by longhand or slide rule. Calculators were just becoming available to the general public and in order to show you were serious about purchasing one, you had to put down a deposit and wait for your order to be shipped. They were capable of doing only the most basic computations. The library was "state of the art" with the finest 'card catalogs' indexing the libraries collections. We all marveled over a modern typewriter which displayed a line of text in a small window prior to printing. Ink erasers were becoming obsolete. Reports were written longhand unless you were lucky enough to have a manual typewriter.
Records and 8-Tracks were the musical media of the day. My how times have changed!!

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Musical Formats:Analogue vs Digital

2007-02-07T09:49:00.005-05:00

Musical Formats
Analogue Hardcopies vs. Digitally Downloaded Files

With sadness I recently read an article in the ‘Boston Globe’ relating the demise of the huge American recorded music retailer ‘Tower Records’. One of my favourite haunts when visiting
“Bean Town” ! It’s ultimate demise was attributed to a lengthy illness brought on by declining sales of recorded music in a physical package. It appears that the ailment was brought on by a rapidly progressing infection caused by the internet sales of downloadable music. More deaths are anticipated.

Having caught the ‘music bug’ in the early 60’s, my collection started out on the good old vinyl 33.5 rpm LP record. Never really cared for 45 rpm singles. I survived the progression through 7 inch reel to reel tapes, cassette tapes and even the cruel malady of the 8-track (youngsters, ask your parents about this abomination foisted upon the music buying public). After collecting all of my favourite artists on LP s, I could never have anticipated the birth of the CD. The scramble was on to re-acquire my precious music in digital format. At times I felt that my purchases alone were responsible for making the music industry robust and my musical heroes rich. The trend now has moved on to downloadable formats directly from music labels to your home computer.

Here is where I feel the kids of today are missing out on the total musical experience. Like settling into a comfortable chair and cracking the spine on a new book, I would rush home with my newly purchased records and with anticipation introduce the needle to vinyl. The music emanating from the speakers was only the beginning of the experience. Album cover artwork was equally important as was the reverse and liner notes. The artist’s comments on the album, photos, the line-up of guest or studio musicians, listing of instruments used, the producer, engineer and recording studio credits added to the total enjoyment.

Even if an icon of the album cover is downloaded with the music, it is not nearly as gratifying as holding the product in hand! The sterility of a download is beyond doubt.

Music enthusiasts argue that they may only like one or two songs on an album and so only wish to buy these particular tunes while rejecting the remainder. I have frequently found that songs other than those receiving air play were to become my favourites and only because these other tunes tagged along on the LP or CD did I discover them. I would have lost so much if I hadn’t purchased the entire works.

In my opinion the tunes on an album should not be separated or rearranged (with the exception of live performances and ‘best of’ albums) as it is a representation of that artist in a particular place in time. No more than one would choose to buy only certain chapters from a novel or some elements of a painting. Finally, there is a satisfaction in rummaging through the bins of a music store and seeing what unknown album or artist piques your interest. Although convenient, scrolling through on-line stores such as ‘Amazon’ or ‘Napster’ whether for Compact Discs or isolated tunes, is not as rewarding.

Albums are bookmarks in time. Ask me what I did in 1976 and I have to think long and hard. Without hesitation I can tell you that the band ‘Boston’ released their epic debut album, Fleetwood Mac gave us ‘Rumours’. That same year Gordon Lightfoot regaled us with ‘Summertime Dream’ which I picked up at ’Sam The Record Man’s’ flagship Toronto store. Where and when did you download your memorable tunes? In retrospect will that purchase be as satisfying to reflect upon?

Guess I am just an old fogy missing “the good old days” as every generation before me.

Just my point of view.

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November 12th, 2007

Yet another retail recorded music chain, ‘Music World’ filed for bankruptcy protection on November 12th, 2007, leaving HMV as the only major recorded music retail chain in Canada. Poor sales of hardcopy music has once again been cited as more and more music aficionados download there music from the internet.

One young Canadian shopper stated “ why should I pay for music if I can get it for free?”

Every musician I’ve met picked up an instrument for the love of the craft and not with the idea of big dollars as the expected outcome. Rightly so, as only rarely do artists become so popular and lucrative, that they can earn even a decent living at their profession. It is yet to be seen whether artists/bands can earn a sustainable living with downloads at 99 cents a pop and no “record company” to assist in worldwide marketing, promotion and distribution. That 99 cents shrinks after the online marketer is reimbursed for their handling your product. With the ability of music lovers to share unauthorized copies of songs without degradation of sound quality, individual unit sales will further decline because of this illegal copying and pirating.

I suspect more and more artists won’t be able to dedicate all their time and creativity to their craft as part-time jobs in conventional daytime jobs will be essential to avoid starvation. Reduced conviction will result in reduced innovation and creativity. In spite of the extensive reach of the internet, lack of truly efficient worldwide promotion could spell the demise of super groups such as the ‘Beatles’, ‘Rolling Stones’, U2, or AC-DC. Promotional Icons on download sites may not pique enough interest to risk your download dollar on, and word of mouth promotion will be slow to spread and most likely to remain within the musicians geographic locale.

I feel sad for today’s youth as they will no longer have the experience of rummaging through music bins at the local store, exploring the front and back covers, enjoying album artwork, reading liner notes on how the album was created, notes on the supporting musicians in hopes of checking out their solo works, recording information and so forth. The digital download is just so sterile. I foresee a great decline in the recorded music industry and fewer musical stars in the future. In the words of Don McLean “the day the music died.”

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